h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Evening Natch
Viz used to do a thing called Lames to Fame where someones brothers mother met so and so somewhere
Here are some of mine
I was once in a band for about a week with a guy who went on to be the bass player in Marillion

A guy I used to work with was invited to join the fledgling Iron Maiden and he turned them down

My sister in laws grand father George Sapsford played up front for Man Utd back in the 20's

I once sat opposite Nigel Planer on a train from Oxford but was too shy to say anything.Thinking back can't believe I didn't ask Den if He'd finished that ceiling job in Edgware

My cousin was drummer in Carbon Silicon with Mick Jones from the Clash and Tony James from Generation X/Sigue Sigue Sputnik until they fell out over money and contracts.

My Uncle used to clean Vince Hill's(big star back in the 60's/70's did a lot of Panto and sang Edelweiss)lake out for him.

And my Mum loves this one, Fish from Marillion threatened to give me a slap for taking the piss out of his sister but didn't cos we were sort of mates.
Went round his flat once to watch England V Scotland when they still played the Home Internationals.There had been loads of piss taking all afternoon and when Scotland took the lead Fish jumped up and started dancing round the room.He had a parquet floor with a rug on it and slipped on the rug and whacked his head on the floor.My how we laughed at him as he rolled around in agony

I think i've exhausted this topic now

I notice that some of your adversaries are on to you being EastendEddie
Ironic that I saw the Wum ceasefire thread just before the Bullying on the United board thread from the 606 people

A'ernoon Natch
Some new jokes for you

Two men looking in a shop window, one says
"That's the one I'd get"
and a cyclops came out and punched him.

At 7am a man comes homes bleary eyed with ruffled hair and lipstick on his collar
His wife shouts
"There had better be a good reason for waltzing in here at 7 in the morning!!"
"F*ckin' right there is" he replies "Breakfast!!"

What do you call a blue square?
An orange in disguise.

First one i love


Re 5 famous people

5. Maxi Jazz. Should have been top of my list really. I don't know if you're familiar with Faithless? One of my top all time bands. Saw them play at a small club in Newport before they went worldwide. Bought a t-shirt off him after the gig,a really cool bloke,signed the back of my birth certificate aswell- Good Luck Dave Maxi Jazz Peace X. My mate had him sign his arm and got a tattoo the next day.
Mind you we were having an ecstatic evening (a good few years ago)an he probably wanted rid of us

Areet Natch
Been watching you outing your "mate" CJS

Areet Vim

Had to be done mate,he got some neck mind fairplay to him,still denying it

Oh yeah Lame to fame: My Dad went to school with Dave Prowse aka The Green Cross Code Man
aka Darth Vader.

How's tricks up your end mate?

Here's a link mate

http://www.trilulilu.ro/crist1nel/c2e47db2c54205

Enjoy

Morning Natch
I think I'd better watch Mike Strutter when there's no kids about.
There was a friday joke thread on the United board yesterday
and it was still there last night.I start one and it lasted not much longer than an hour.There was some racist and sexist stuff posted! and it all survived.
I post a couple of bad taste jokes and I get banned.
Justice Pah!
I think they're under new management as well and seem to have adopted some sort of tolerance policy after weeding out the "troublemakers"

I'm just going to get find a link to the funniest posting I have ever seen.

There was man and woma man went out so did woman and man bougfht a watch woman done her hair both came back man told wife wers my phone pointed with hansd so wife can she watch woman sed over dere pointwed with head so he can see new hairstke

add comment | complain about this comment
Natch this was on the United joke thread yesterday I have never seen anything like it we were all pissing ourselves at work when I tried to read this out.

Morning Vim



Quality mate,pure class

My favourite ever 606 posting,and i can remember it verbatim was when Man Utd struggled or lost against Fulham? can't remember the details of the game but a scouser put an article on with similar spelling abilities and i was giggling for ages with the response :

"And who is this team you name as Fuhlan,are they from the far east you bin dipping cret!n?"

It really tickled me at the time and i think he tried to come back on and give the bloke a puller about picking him up on it but then the article got modded. Gutted.

There was man and woma man

Do these people ever read back what they've typed or they do and think it's fine.Perhaps that's how they talk
I mean there's typos and just plain ignorance
One guy copied and pasted it further on and said We have a winner but it's nothing to do with the joke

I suspect they do read it back and go 'Yep,nowt wrong with that'!
Who is this venerable wordsworth anyway? could be worth bookmarking his profile

He was sniffer100 but I think he's been banned as his profile page is blank like mine is.
Bit much if they've banned him cos he can't type.
Be great if they've started to ban people for being a thickie, though there'd only be you and about a dozen others left to debate anything

Natch have a look at this though you'll have to type the address in as for the life of me I can't remember how to copy the link.
if you go to the bottom you can click on the other teams there
The Chelski Abramograd one's the best
http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/Manchester_united

It's copied the link now
here's the rest
http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/Chel$ki_Abramograd_F.C.

http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/Mickey_Mousers_Football_Franchise_Ltd.

http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/Real_madrid

Like I say if you scroll to bottom you'll find the rest

They've deleted the Chelski and Franchise ones Man U and Real ones are great though

Are you still following my detective work? Got 'em biting again woop woop

Natch
Go on the Man Utd Red Sox one again and scroll right to bottom and if you look in small print the Chelski one still works from there.
It really is the best one.
They've got great shirt sponsors and Micheal Essien's name on his shirt is a cracker.

And if that doesn't work click on the I hate glory seekers comment by Sir Alex where it says Chelski Abramograd that still works.

Oooooh the Tai Bride got a bit upset didn't he/she.Perhaps no-ones
picked him/her out of the catalogue yet
Did you see The Inbetweeners this week and Will's attempt at losing his virginity(reminded me of my first time)
I think next week is the one where they go to stay with Jay at his parents caravan cos he told them that caravan club is one big orgy.
One of the best episodes,up there with the vomit/bumder one