h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

How annoying is it when you're in a busy office, with phones ringing left right and centre, and the woman sitting next to you spends half the day on personal phone calls, never thinking to hang up and answer a *real* call when it gets busy? Very annoying, that's how annoying it is.

It doesn't help that this is the woman that doesn't believe dinosaurs existed; asked me how, if I don't go to church on Sundays, I thank my creator, and had the audacity to pick me up on a note I made this morning.



The thing is, I am going to end up losing my rag big time and making myself look a complete arse.



Fortunately I discovered on the way home that I'd put The Black Crowes' 'Shake Your Money Maker' on my phone, which pleased me and led to a big grin during a chilled journey home.



Unfortunately she will be there again tomorrow, sitting in her chair doing sweet FA while (some of) those around her work our arses off.

Must be a twin of one of my colleagues.

all you have to do is.................... Ignore the "dear" collugie or make her a cup of tea!

You can't projectile vomit all over your frineds but you can...choose your colleagues.

It's the perfect crime: no one will think you did it on purpose.

There's a woman that I work with who grates me. She's negative about absolutely everything.

She can be a bit scatty on occasion which I'm planning on taking advantage of by mixing things around on her desk and switching things on her files around until she thinks she's losing it quits.

If that doesn't work I'll think about pushing her down the stairs.

*and* quits.

Yea know it m8, just keep in with all the others in your office maybe one of them has a cunning plan, either way, not sure about the stairs but projectile vommiting sounds cool if you could get someone else to do it, you can catch it on vid and utube it ( the stairs would make exiting footage tho eh).

its ok for you "young" things, us "oldies" are a little jaded and "negtive" cus we have seen it all before................. chin chin dears

hey Br Roy , you ever see " Murder on the Orient Express"?

How many people in your office who feel the same?


Start of with mixing things up on desk- maybe hacking her address book or phone and mixing up numbers or randomley leaving messages with her personal contacts- that sort of thing.

Maybe then you could move on to spilling the drink over her, especially when she is wearing her best- stuntman/women style.

next maybe the projectile vommitting-save this for when she has just had her hair done

And maybe then "down the stairs".

You can each have your day( hope there is more than 5 of you.

Say nothing to her at all except for the word 'hic' (or 'hik').
Aftera few days of hic-speak she'll go mad, join a convent or move to Scandanavia.

What's a frined?

I was waiting for someone to spot that! Damn, I wish we could edit thread titles 'round 'ere.

I was going to ask if you got them from Firneds R Us, but I'm in a snappy mood and didn't know if it was being overly-cheeky...

be a frined and make some

Say "Having met you my sympathies now lie with satan...your preaching has driven me to to join a coven....btw do you know anywhere I can buy bat's blood?"
or just tell her to off.... sometimes you need the direct approach
The phone thing....unplug yours when she leaves her desk..so all calls will have to go to her. You can discover later and go"No wonder my phone was quiet"
or try one of these:

Tackling Problem People
The Whinger…..they make grumbling an art form. They want more space. More recognition, more tea etc. They are pests and are infectious.
Tackle it by: Ask them what they are doing about it. Whingers often want others to act for them. Ask them for a plan of action to put to management.

The Nagger….He or she badgers, cajoles and pressurises until others give in. Once this behaviour is established it stretches to nagging about every little thing.. driving everyone mad.
Tackle it: by ignoring it .If you can’t get them to target their nagging at something constructive like safety regulations. If all else fails keep a list of all the things they have nagged about in a week and show it to them

The Absentee…..This person makes a habit of not turning up. It usually starts with illness but gradually the excuses become less plausible causing resentment and extra work for others .
Tackle it: by making them realise they’ve stolen time and don’t welcome them back. Welcoming them back rewards them. Complain to them and if necessary someone higher up

The scatterbrain…people who live in chaos and missed appointments, untidy desks and say oh silly me. Leaving others to sort out the chaos.
Tackle it: By focusing on aspects of their chaos which inconvenience them .Then don’t help.. make them sort them out. And don’t rely on them for anything without having a back up plan.

The Buck Passer.. Found in places where blaming is the normal culture. The night staff blame the day staff etc.
Tackle it: at the source. The trick is to track the buck as it passes. Those involved will protest their innocence but persevere until you find the starting point. Face the person (s) and say “Why do you always blame others?” do it every time pointing out how their behaviour is passed down the line.

The Bolshie….This rebellious obstructive type will agree to do things reluctantly but you can never be sure they will get done.
Tackle it: by NOT asking”What’s the matter”? They won’t say. Try to involve them, ask their opinion, give them a sense of importance. They’ll express themselves more and then the reasons for their behaviour /grievances may emerge.

say! What about the hungry and the thirsty????

DAN DAN DAAAAHHHH!!!!





Never fear, The Captain's here.



Sorry. I'll just go, shall I?

Yes.