h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Do me a favor...when you take him away to par-blanch, make sure he understands that he's just going to the spa to sweat off some of that beer.

Then, just turn up the heat on the jacuzzi.

*back to life story*

It took me decades to figure out:
I never really was a Warrior.
It's OK to be something else.
I am, after all, a...um...let's see...Stargazer! Yeah!

or, something like the 'Piper at the Gates of Dawn'. With a glass pipe. Does that count?

Helen, Land Rovers and boarding schools! I don't think I've ever had a friend before who went to an actual English boarding school. I don't know whether to congratulate you or sympathize. That is totally out of my realm of experience. Reminds me of the way I felt in Oxford. The difference between Oxford and a state university in the midwest is just hugh. It is another world.

I liked the descriptions of your parents. Caused me to ponder how I would describe my own parents. I'm still pondering, by the way.

Leo, I don't believe I was prejudiced as a kid. I just didn't have any experience of racial or ethnic minorities. For someone living in a multicultural city like New York, that must seem peculiar. I actually believe in multiculturism. I think we enrich our own lives by having contact with people of different backgrounds. It would have been wonderful to be able to sit down with blacks during the civil rights movement for example and find out how they really lived and felt about things rather than having my information filtered through newscasts and other people.

Going back a few posts, yes the word hillbilly can be a perjorative. I use it frequently because it upsets certain people who fit the description a lot better than I do but won't admit it. I also use it when I start getting a bit full of myself to remind myself that I'm just plain folk. It is also part of my online persona. Pinniped is a seal. Waz is a lammergeier. Hyp is a hillbilly. I find the word redneck more offensive than hillbilly.

Xantief the stargazer. I like that. Warriors can be extremely tedious. Speaking of stars, I'm a Taurus.

Let's see. I'm older than Helen, younger than Phred, and share a decade with Xantief. I have a grandson about Leo's age.

My mother always says she had three only children. My sister was born in 1940, I was born in 1949 and my brother the last week of 1960. Her first baby was born with a hole in her heart and only lived for three days. Otherwise there would have been four of us.

My mother divorced Lady C's father back in the days when divorce was still frowned upon. He had another woman pregnant and was a drunk to boot. It was a good decision on her part. My father tried not to make any difference between Sis and myself, but I was his favorite. Only natural, I suppose. I remember a nosey neighbor telling me when I was about 5 that she wasn't my real sister. It absolutely infuriated me. I went home stomping and swearing (did I mention that I swore like a sailor from the time I was 2?)and just ready to take on the world.

Little brother was an oops baby. He had three mamas at home to spoil him rotten. As adults, Sis and I are very close, but my brother isn't particularly close to either of us. He and his wife are extremely well suited to each other. They're both weird.

I should have brought some Jiffy Pop for the campfire.

Curious about the English boarding school, equally curious about Hypatia in Oxford. Do, do, do elaborate, both of you.

Wasn't aware that hillbilly was an insult per se. Or at least, not much different than calling someone a nerd. Of course us sophisticated coastal people look fondly upon the naive, insulated folks of middle america... and wish they would just see things our way, of course. Or so I gathered, listening to my fellow jurors in the jury room. I try not to have opinions on topics I know nothing about.
Wikipedia says that hillbilly refers particularly to people in the Ozarks. Howdayalike that?

Xantief: you ALSO smoke a pipe? *shakes head* Generational thing.

I'd never accuse you of , Hyp. But when I read about Jane Elliot's experiment it said that some kids had never seen a person of color in their lives! I was astounded. It's ironic, cuz when I see a blue-eyed blond kid in a neat haircut with new-looking jeans that fit, I immediately assume he's a tourist from a less populated area and look around for the rest of the family. (Usually they're right behind: sister with long blond hair and non-washed out shorts, and mom and dad with the camera.)

what's the difference between Jiffy Pop and regular pop corn? Cuz I've got a bag of kernels in my back pocket, just incidentally. If anyone would happen to have some salt and butter...We could have .

Got some Mayo....

I used to smoke briars, for about 8 years...had 4 or 5 at a time that I'd rotate through. Got tired of the goopy, stinky, tarry stuff, so I switched to handrolled cig's. At this moment, I'm chewing nicotine gum, I'm quitting again.

Helen, I am only eight months ahead of you. Also a Leo, but I don't wish to conflict with anyone.

Leo, I was in Oxford only as a tourist. It's an amazing place. Amy the Ant took me to visit her college - Braesnose. She arranged for me to get into the library there. It is normally off linmits to tourists. We also saw St. John's College, Tony Blair's alma mater. And it was in Oxford where I went punting.

I like pipes. Hate cigars. My Great Alice used to sit on her front porch every evening and smoke her pipe. Really! Sometimes I think Al Capp must have met Aunt Alice and patterned Mammy Yokum after her.

We are naive in many ways, we midwesterners. On the other hand, we are practical people to know in a crisis. We may not be able to hail a cab in Manhattan, and I know we're irritating when we stand in a deli and take longer than 10 seconds to order. But most of us can hunt and fish and grow our own food. When the infamous "grid" finally goes down, you'll wish you were at my house.

Jiffy Pop, Jiffy Pop, the popcorn treat.
As much fun to make as it is to eat.

I was talking about the little aluminum pans that have the popcorn inside. You heat them over the stove or a campfire and they puff up when the corn pops.

As a redneck, I have to agree. Redneck is MUCH worse than hillbilly.

Hullo!

I just met a friend in town -- she said what you been doing Helen, and I said, well, every day I travel to America to meet with the campfire angels ---and I told her everything we talk about, and she gently kissed me and gave me a pound for a new notebook in which to record my fantasies -- and I said, no they're real, they're real --- I have their magic fingerprints on my heart to prove it ---

fascinating next chapter, Hyp -- really. families are quite something aren't they! all the complex strands and ties --

blood ties must be the most complex of all relationships --

I must get to Oxford one day. Imagine if I dropped dead right at this moment --- these would be my last words ... 'I must get to Oxford one day' ...I like it.

Now I have to scroll back through the conversation to absorb the wealth of detail from you all -- I wish I could just do it from this posting, but I have to click off and start over ---so many details, you are all the most graphic of writers --- wondrous images spring up overnight, like those flowers in the desert --

so we have two Leos, one Taurus, one Aries/Taurus --- Phred?

where's Ron gone.

Piper at the Gates of Dawn -- fine album.

have to go -- lunchtime! Chris made me bird-burgers. that is really stoopid Helen.

back later ----

H

Astrological sign? Virgo, but this is very unscientific. I much prefer the hard science of Numerology.

For example, the values of the consonants in Helen are:
H 8 points
L 3 points
N 5 points

This adds up to 16 points.

By adding the 1 and 6 we arrive at the number 7 which indicates that you are spiritual, eccentric, and a bit of a loner.

Numerology was discovered by Pythagoras soon after he discovered how to indirectly measure the hypotenuse of a triangle.

I'm still here Helen!

I've taken just lately to 'lurking'; reading everyone's (as you say, very interesting) postings and responses. I can't compete with their wealth of accumulated knowledge and experience, so I am learning lots about their 'take' on life, the universe and everything!

Going down to Cambridge again soon to see the family. Elizabeth is now 7 months old and growing larger by the day. Matthew is enjoying pre-school and getting into counting as well as making his presence felt socially!

I hope you're both on top form and enjoying yourselves in your creative activities. Keep smiling.

Ron

Hi Phred,

I too was born under Virgo: 6th September. So what are the values of r, n,l,d? It would be interesting to compare with Helen's 'reading'!

You're certainly on a roll at present, both geographically and communicatively speaking; I'll be following you with my usual sense of curiosity (the nosey devil that I am!) and of wonder at your discoveries and observations.

You are one of a very small number of knowledgeable and interesting guys on h2g2; and I imagine on any conversational thread in any chat room anywhere! And you attract into conversation most of the other exceptional and interesting people on this site with whom to play conversational volley-ball!

You'll always have a great fan base here!

Ron, you are too kind.

Off to the park with some of the grandchildren now.

Your reading will come later.

Ronald,

Those letters have the values 9. 5, 3 and 4.

They aum to 21, which makes you a three: enthusiastic, optimistic, and fun-loving.

Hmmm!

Well, let's see now:

Enthusiasm: somewhat tempered by my lack of 'emotional drive' I'm afraid!

Optimism: rather overwhelmed by a natural pessimism engendered by this troubled world of ours!

Fun-loving: Well, I'd like to be thought of as such. I certainly used to be in my younger, more carefree days!

But thanks for your reading.

Good luck on your travels!

Ron

Hullo Ron,

I for one enjoy your participation, as I assure you I hold you in the highest esteem.

These convos are a great source of happiness to me - these good folks have the grace not to pound on me when I spew something ridiculous, and I'm having a good time. Social therapy. Indeed.

It's like, and I quote, "This is Liberty Hall! Spit on the mat and call the Cap'n a bastard!" (A. Bertram Chandler)

Cap'n Phred, , I'm wondering how S-T-V-N stacks up -- ? (Drop the V and get 666? or is that a different school?)
Numerology has only - what - nine or ten basic permutations? I'm curious as to the deeper science, might have to look into it. Pythagoras, right?

Re the duckie: I made an experimental entry with the banner just to play with the GuideML, and TiT contributed a group of ducky images.

It's called...duck. How does the link thingy work, BTW?

Happy Caffeine to all...

Ron my friend! there you are! I miss you -- but I know you are having to reduce your screen-time at the moment --

welcome to the campfire! what do you mean you can't compete with these peoples' accumulated knowledge and experience? -- you of all people? -- won't hear of it ---If you think you can't compete, what do you think I feel - I have about fifteen panic attacks per hour just trying to spell my own name -- get a beer and give us the story of your early years, and help me explain Sussex and Cheshire to these USA travellers in time and space ---

how's your writing going Ron? what you up to? Virgo eh?

Phred --- Virgo also? I like the numerology --- bit scarily accurate if you don't mind, Mr. Pythagoras --- but hey, science is a weird thing. I wish I was scientific. I need to mainline some science.

As you can see, Ron, I rather reduce the intelligence levels at this campfire.

Hey y'all -- back tomorrow -- just an emergency stop to greet Ron, and the number seven ----

Helen

Steve,

S-T-V-N is 1-2-4-5

That adds to 12 and 1+2=3

Therefore you are likely to be enthusiastic, optimistic, and fun-loving. You have a deep seated respect for authority, especially George Bush. You sense of order and discipline makes it likely that you are clean-shaven with a buzz cut. You have a deep disdain for alcohol and are likely to be a vegetarian. You are apt to carry inappropriate objects such as mayo in your backpack.

On the other hand, without the N, you are also a seven, like Helen.

Drop the N! Drop the N! PLEEEEASE