h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Oh, I wont! Bloody uncomfortable things that they are! And such a pain in the ass when you need to go "powder your nose"!

I must confess that I dont know the intricacies of thier operation during nose powdering incidents, but I can imagine that there is far too many bits to unbuckle and generally faff with.

I don't know why I'm not a fan, most blokes I know love em, but I really dont think they look that attractive. I think it's because I see them as being stereotypical of lecherous old men and pornography.

Now, put a young lady in silk camisole and shorts, and I'm butter (not that I've had that pleasure recently). For the moment, I'm making do with my bikini dreams....

Nose powdering incidents need to planned with military precision and planned waaaay in advance!! There is a hell of a lot of fiddling and there's always that one clip that you can't get out!!!

Some of them can be very pretty and not at all porny but must admit, never wear the buggers and don't even own a set!

And those cami knickers are a literal pain in the ass as well if you're wearing trousers!!! It would be like a bloke trying to put on a pair of trousers over a pair of nylon swimming shorts! Not fun!

For your bikini dreams, can I have a cocktail in them?

You can have whatever cocktail you like - tis an ace dream and nothing will spoil it, it just gets better and better!!! Which cocktail would you like???

Cami knickers can't be appreciated if you are gonna put a pair of damn trousers over the top of them!! I'm talking just the shorts and the top!! Mmmmmmmmmmm

Btw, thanks to you, I'm getting hammered out there...

I'd like a ..........mmmmmm, will have to think bout what cocktail I'd like! Something cold and frosty! Don't like but do like it with rapberry liquer in, kind of like a Kir Royale.

I'm gonna leave the underwear subject for the mo, cos don't wanna be giving you a heart attack at your advanced age

And as for out there.......A bit of ritual humiliation is good for you!

that'll be raspberry liqueur, then!!!

Since when is ritual humiliation good for anyone? It could leave me scarred and deeply troubled for life, although according to your theory, I've only got a few breaths left in me...

There's a reason why you get so much pleasure watching me suffer, but I can't quite put my finger on it. One of these days will be your downfall and then I will get the chance to get my own back!!!

Actually, I dont think I could make you suffer that much, but I'd try a little bit....

This bleeding puter keeps chucking me out! Maybe I offended it too!

I'm not really a nasty horrible person, getting joy out of you suffering! If I'm being nasty, just slap me! Evryone else does! Only do it cos I know you can take it! You and your poor old heart

You are welcome to take your chance at getting me back, but be warned, I'll turn into a proper girl and cry if you're nasty to me!!!

You're not being nasty to me, I'm only joshing. I like a bit of harmless ribbing, but I like compliments as well!! If you were ever nasty (not that you ever have been) I think I'd be brave enough to tell you, but I don't do slaps - thats not nice. Well, not big hurtful ones... I'll give you an arm wrestle instead.

I haven't seen you turn into a girl and cry yet, so I assume I've not been too naughty. I'm not really out to get you, at least not get you back. Anyway, I think you are big enough to defend yourself from a wimp like me...

See my theory in life is that I'm not very good at compliments whereas I'm a whiz at insulting people! I like to take time to craft the perfect insult and I don't see the point of wasting a good insult on someone I don't like, they're not worthy of my thinking time. So I only insult those that I like.

So feel flattered! In a roundabout kinda way!

Errrrmmmmm....



Sooooo, as long as you are insulting me, you like me?

What do I do if you start being nice? Do I

That's about right! There is convoluted logic in there somewhere. Although I am quite nice on here a lot of the time cos it's really hard to know what you can get away with if you haven't met somebody and seen their face when you're talking to them.

I'll bet there's a few people sending smiley messages and really thinking "who the hell does that Deakie bird think she is"!!!!

Not sure if I understand that. Are you saying you think people are replying to you and sending smileys, even though they might be a bit cross with you? I don't think that's the case, if that is what you are thinking! I normally end up wetting myself with laughter a most of the stuff you post. The one in I-spy about me having the western world and most of Africa in my room is a case in point. I giggled for ages about that, still am now. I honestly dont think you have upset anyone, ever. To be honest, if its all gone a bit quiet and then you come in and post, it normally gets everyone going again. I think they all love you!!

And you know you can just about get away with murder with me - even though we've not met. <------ That one is cos you make me smile, not cos I'm being polite!!!

Awww Thanks Hun.

I think I know I can get away with it with you which is prob why I insult you more than anyone else! And you do set yourself up for it very well!

You guys all playing later? I've gotta finish one day of my spreadsheet then I'm heading to the supermarket and home but will come and play later if you all are! And if I can get a connection. My ISP at home seems to be in the huff at the mo.

Yep! We are playing. Wednesday night is Board Meeting night (managers stuff) That normally lasts about two minutes before it descends into the normal low grade chat!! Anyone is welcome at a board meeting tho. Hope to see you there!!!

That reminds me, must go shopping tomorrow, supplies are running low... <----------- Have another one!!!

Payday today so I need to stock up on all the boring things like washing powder and binbags and all that sort of stuff! If I do that at night then it saves me wasting a day off in the supermarket.

Nearly finished this bleeding thing. Used to take me just Mondays to do it but its getting bigger and now takes til very late Weds evening! If the ruddy thing gets bigger, I'll be doing speadsheets constantly and nowt else!

I will try to get back later but prob wont be til after 11 by the time I've shopped.

right back atya! and a big

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!



Hello!!

*looks for neck brace*

Morning Part-timer

You on the ? The pubs open at 11, don't they?

Dont need I'm on a natural high!!!

But, crikey am I tired....

LSD is not natural!!!

What were you up to then? Should go to your bed early like I do! Then you won't feel at all!

Fresh as a daisy, me!