h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

(went to Cuba, did you? by plane, I presume? suicidal tourist, are you?)

What? Chickening out? Moi?!
*gives zuzu an inquiring look*
I'm just wondering.... did you bring...uhm.. you know... ermm....what else have you got in your magic boots?
BTW - do your students have any idea what you're up to in your free time?

(Course I went by plane...knew you weren't flying it...felt so much safer!)
In my boots?
Why, my feet!
Silly boy!


Why?


What did you want me to have???

errmmm....
first of all, a blanket. second, sunscreen. third, sunglasses (you'll need them).
See - all the ingredients to make this beach party a thundering success!!
Wait - something's missing... something I forgot..... hmmm...

My bikini!!!?

Don't worry have it with me!

And a jug of sangria???


Come to think of it I am a bit thirsty....

Sangria..? Oh good!

Hmm.... how convenient... get her drunk first, and then....

You brought your bikini too? Terrific! If you have any trouble putting it on, don't be shy to ask!
But wait.... Something's still missing.... something of the upmost importance....hmmmm ....
What could it be, I wonder??

It was me!!
You forgot me!!
(Did you miss me?)
It's been a long hard 4 months...pass that sangria will you...need a drink!

Hmm..? What's that voice?

OH MY GOD! IT'S ZUZU! ZUZU HAS RISEN FROM THE DEAD!!!
*scampers off in panic, then thinks better of it and turns back*

Wait a minute.... I get it - you faked your own death! Now really! It isn't THAT much you owe me...

It's been a very hard week over here, too - and another one will follow suit (groan....).

I'm afraid there is no more sangria. Well, I had to keep myself busy somehow....

Sorry...got lost again in West Africa this time....don't think I should navigate in future!

Ok...no more sangria....
Didn't I once hear about some sort of lethal brew that could be concocted from cactii?
You're a clever chap (she said flattering him). Why don't yuo grab that cactus over there and see what you can make of it?

Oh Phil?
(She said innocently fluttering her eyelashes)

Just watch those prickles won't you?

West Africa?? For real?
I should become a teacher. But then.... considering the last two weeks.... maybe not.

Cactii? Hmm... Wouldn't you prefer the whiskey I've got in my pants?

Yup, really West Africa..that was after the long weekend in Barcelona of course!



Oh no!
Not falling for that one again!
Whisky? In your pants? I'm sure that's what it is....looks mighty cloudy to me!


Go on then....take a swig.
Yes Phil, you go first!

Barcelona? West Africa.....??
And we students are supposed to have it easy (yeah, right)....
Did you have fun?
Why am I asking stupid questions??

Hmm..... where are those cactii?

Oh so you want the cactii now...
Why Phil? What was wrong with the "whisky"?

Look just sort me out some sort of drink will you?
I mean what sort of a date are you?

Hey, wait a minute....

*hurtful expression*

What do mean, what sort of a date are you? Isn't my glorious presence enough for you?

It's the drinks you're after, isn't it?

*sobs*

No Phil, it's really not that...but this date has been going on nearly a year now and I'm quite thirsty....
I really do enjoy your company but I NEED SOMETHING TO DRINK!!!!



Please?

Oh... Okay.

Something to drink.... okay, let's see...

Hey, see that bar over there? Must have opened sometime during the year we've been stuck here!
Still, strange place to open a bar.
What's it called?
*reads aloud*
A-L .... K-
Can't make it out, let's move closer... There...
*squints*
Al Qu-A-I-D-A...
Hmmm... sounds familiar...

Let's ask that guy out front.. Yes, the one with the beard and the strange look in his eyes...

Phil?
Phil?
PHIL?????
Are you there?


Thank goodness for that passing group of soldiers who saved me....

They seemed very pleased to see me too...didn't even want me to thank them for rescuing me....

Where on earth have you disappeared to now?

In here! Right at the bar!

Where've you been? Who are your friends? Wow, cooool outfit! Military style, I like that..!

Here, meet my new friend! His name's.... I'm sorry, what's your name again? Usama?
zuzu, meet Usama! Usama - zuzu.

Yeah...like my outfit myself!
Think it complements my boots so well!

And it's nice to meet a friend of yours...feel most honoured...in all this time....it's the first time you've introduced me to anybody....always got the feeling you were ashamed to be seen with me...isn't that silly?

Usama...
Nice to meet you....

Yes, Usama... Good friend of mine...
Funny, you disappeared a while ago... Never returned my calls... Where've you been?

Uhmm - zuzu?

Why are your friends poitning their guns at us?!

Yes, Usama... Good friend of mine...
Funny, you disappeared a while ago... Never returned my calls... Where've you been?

Uhmm - zuzu?

Why are your friends poitning their guns at us?!