h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Exactly.

That's what I said about time last week when I didn't have my homework.

Aha ha ha. "Homework". That's a good one.

"Homework" is the spawn of Beelzebub, and Belial, and Thammuz, and Dagon, and just about any other demon you care to think of. So it doesn't matter if you don't do it. You see the beautiful, simple logic of it?

Just say that to the teachers. It always worked for me.

Hm... I doubt it would work on my teachers, anyway... You'd have to spent half an hour explaining who Beelzebub, and Belial, and Thammuz, and Dagon are in the first place...

Well... I'm being a little cynic, I admit...

The best thing to say when you haven't done the homework is to say nothing at all... There's a high probability you won't be discovered, and even if you're asked to read it out, you can improvise...

Maybe beelzebub et al ate your homework?

My preferred method is to make a big deal of looking through my bag then suddenly "realise" that I "accidentally" left it on my desk at home. I knew exactly where it was and would have it in to the teacher at the next class.

But it _was_ done, honest

That's a *very* old excuse which all of my teachers know... It never works any more... You have to be inventive here...

Oh well that was the limit of my ingenuity. Half the time it was true though.

I just get asked if I've got it...

...and I say "nope"

simple as that...and they leave me alone...no more questions...

Honesty really confuses teachers

Yep, you can say that again...

It took me a year to find out too...did anyone think to tell me that simply saying "nope" was a much better substitute...nope...

But making up excuses is half the fun.

The best excuse of all is "personal problems". This is the ultimate, all-purpose excuse, to use in any situations. Whoever you say it to daren't ask you for fear of prying. It's fool proof.

Of course, these days, I don't get to make up excuses. Now seminar leaders just say "Has everyone done the reading?" and people nod their heads. And then we discuss.

Kind of takes some of the nervous tension out of life though, you know?

hmm...i suppose...

still...i'll stick to my excuse for the 2 whole day's of A-level's I've got left...

Besides...if I ever get asked *why* I haven't done it I just say I forgot...

I'm well known as being one of the most forgetful people in the 6th form...

Even if I do it on purpose sometimes...

Yes...I'm currently trying to give my form tutor a heart attack by handing in a form on the *very* last day...which he's been asking for for the last 3 weeks... Well...just hope I don't *actually* forget it...

And I still have a month of school left. Grr.

Of course I can get myself suspended again, it'll be much less.

And guess what it was that got me that? Going out in the rain...

Seriously. Fascists.

You got suspended for going out in the rain??!!??!!

I don't believe it...what was it, acid rain or something??!!

Geez...

Who knows.

A very boring anecdote is heading your way, sorry.

Someone at my uni just got fined £300 for playing his music too loud during exam times. He lives near all the people studying for MAs, so there was no warning, nothing.

Kind of scary, right? I guess it's okay though - I mean, imagine studying for your MA and being plagued by loud House music all day.

I think if it was me trying to study I wouldn't like having to listen to it...

...but on the other hand, it's a pretty hefty fine for something like that...

Pardon my ignorance - how many dollars in a pound?

I haven't the foggiest...