h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I really, really like your page. (Except that you had to talk about God... you'll find a lot of people here won't like that bit) If only certain people (we all know a few of them) would stop and think, gee, isn't it damned nice to be alive and kicking right now, the world would be a much better place. Hooray for someone happy!

Hey - I'm glad the somebody out there likes my page - that's cool. I like life better everyday. Right now I'm too tired to be too enthusiastic (I think I'm about to drop dead, which would be a shame. Apart from the tragedy that this would be to everyone who knows me, I've just spent a lot of money on a new toaster and I hate seeing good money go to waste).

Keep in touch - it'll make me sad if you don't.

Why was the toaster a waste of money? With toasters you can make toast, you can toast bagels, you can watch the little wires turn red, you can have some strange fun involving lighting things on fire (by accident, of course...) They're yet another one of the unappreciated yet supremely useful tools we depend on in the morning.

I prefer grills myself - watching cheese melt underneath a grill is very satisfying, as well as smelling lovely into the bargain. You can also put plastic soldiers underneath and turning them into mud zombies from hell...not that I know these things - I'm just assuming that you can do that...

I'm still here despite vowing to go to bed - now I AM going to go.

Right.

"Mud zombies from hell." I like it.

Hey, the Mud Zombies from Hell are a scary sight, especially when you line them all up on the garden wall. They all look at you eerily.

I miss having a grill...the hours of fun.

Hmm...look what happens when you wander into a conversation...

First of all it's toasters...OK...I understand the bit about toasters...and the bit about grills...

But Mud Zombies form Hell???

OK...

Well...I guess I can...erm...cope with that...

Perhaps I shouldn't just skim through backlog, huh?

Hello again...

Don't ask about the Mud Zombies from Hell - it's just...too..too...
traumatic *sob*

Aww...

I won't ask then...

And hey, can I *really* be blamed if I have another look at your page to find it's been changed, and then just happen to read...and then just happen to be nosey enough to read some of the forums you've been posting too...

OK, well perhaps I can...

Well, feel free to do that, but you might not like what you see....

*sinister chuckle*

*E gets paranoid*

Why???? What are you going to say???

Wait a second - when did you get here E? This is just an evil plot to turn the world against me and my poor little snowball fort, isn't it. I knew it. And now, you're a stalker too? Just great.

Don't we all have a few mud-zombies-from-hell stories to share? Of course we do dear. Now you just sit right there and you'll be feeling better straight away.

Okay, now I'm confused, I had 4 hours sleep last night...

"Snowball fort"?

I need some coffeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

Hmm...yes, snowball fort...

Which was successfully flattened thanks to a couple of 40ton snowballs...

But no, Io, this is *not* an underhanded attempt at winning the snowball fight...

But, I'm here now...and I wasn't stalking you...

I was following Possum...

Hey, I learnt from the best OK...Dancing Ermine taught me everything I know.

I see - all is now clear

I'm not sure whether I've given my official permission for you to stalk me...

Nevermind, I'm sure that hasn't stopped you so far...

I wasn't stalking you...

Just...following...and posting to some of the things you've posted too...

I see - in that case, then I'm fine with it...

Good...

Anyway, about those Time Travelling emails...I haven't forgotten. You know what they say about Elephants...

Not that I'm an Elephant, you understand. But I never forget.

Or is this crossing over from another forum?

Yes, that's sort of crossing over from another forum...

I'd explain it...but it takes *ages*...like I said, you can e-mail me...

Oooh...hang on...I've had a thought...

Tell you what, give me some time & I could write a guide entry on this sort of thing....

...And lots of other things...like how you can go round the bend in a straight line...

OK, I think I'll do that...much, much, much more fun...