h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

"Wow I just love the innuendo! I'm doing my compuchallenged best"

*Inspects Pierce's efforts at knitting.*

You've done a nice job here, Pierce. They all are incredibly scratchy, though.

Yeah...I wasn't going to say anything, since they'er a GIFT an all...
but he's either trying to make me scratch myself or he's wanting me to air out a bit! Either way, they'll have a nice home in the drawer with all my bras!

And Sultandude...between the long hair & the icing, you look good enough to eat. Too bad I don't eat meat!
(oh I really crack myself up!)

*Turns bright red.*

Pandora! shh!

"Licking works!"

*Fails miserably to grasp the drift of the conversation*

Why would Pan want to lick some knitted woollen undergarments?

"Morning Gwennie, try re-reading post 483, or was that an attempt at early morning humour."

Gwennie would like us all to believe that her children got here through osmossis.....SEX Gwennie...that's what we're taking...you remember sex don't you?!? Perhaps you should review those tapes you gave me

Sultandude, I know I shock mari-rae...but I've found the best way to make a man leave you alone is to give him what he wants...or at least let him THINK you'll give in....it's the chase that's the fun hey?

"Mmmmmm! I just love the chase, flirting, etc. When my buddy came to visit last month he couldn't believe the scene, at least three of the girls I introduced him to told him, I know Mike long time but he never takes me out. I reply, I have a girlfriend, and invariably they say, I can be small girlfiend, as in minor wife. It really cracks me up. As far as the sex thing, where would we be without it. Sex is great, but sex with intense feeling for someone is the greatest thing since peanut butter."

Peanutbutter?!? That's the BEST you could come up with?!?
Ooo Sultandude, just when I think you're so hunky, you go & say something like that...Ahh well...I'd much rather lick honey any day of the week

"Erm..............I see what you mean Pan but give me a break, it's early morning here and there was no water this morning to have my wake you up and wash away the cobwebs shower. Have you ever tried brushing your teeth with Tonic water? I was going to say sliced bread but that sort of understates the case too, Maybe I should have just left it at ........is the greatest thing huh."

Have I ever brushed my teeth with tonic water...er yes as a matter of fact I have. But I like tonic water, I drink it all the time!
I contrated Colera once in a jungle, I drank from a well I'd found...
seems that's where they had been dumping their dead for a few years. *gag* So, you see...tonic water IS wonderful! (always remember....things could be worse)
I'll give you a huge break on the sex metaphor.....I once said scuba diving was better than sex, because you could have sex just about anytime anywhere...then I has sex whilst scuba diving...
Pardon...I have some bones to jump...Oh Honey?!?.....

"Lucky you ~envious~, I'm in the celebacy thread till the 28th."

Hey, before I hit the hay....and what's under it...you could join my club!!!!! It's called: The Born Again Virgins Ass. Each time a bible thumper ignors my NO BIBLE THUMPER sign...I just tell them matter of fact, "I happen to be a Born Again Virgin!" Then as I'm chasing after them to their car...I begin to tell them that I WAS a Born Again Slut...then all this AIDS stuff happened...they NEVER stay around to hear my spiel...go figure G-nite xox~Pan

*Pops back in and catches up with the postings*

Yes, Sultandude (& Pan) my earlier posting was a poor and very early morning attempt at humour.

However, Pan is quite right about the sex thing and my hoping that people will think my children arrived by osmosis!!! I am British after all and the only thing I like to keep stiff is my upper lip (the one on my face!).

Peanut butter! Yummy! I'd kill for a mashed banana and peanut butter sandwich! In fact, John has even used peanut butter (the crunchy type) to encourage my appetites before now...Sort of like a donkey and the carrot situation!

*Wanders off in search of a recipe book and some peanut butter*

"Damn! I still can't get Princess Toy's picture to open! I prefer the smooth peanut butter myself."

Seems you computer isn't the only one with problems, sultandude. This is what my puter picked up in the earlier postings:

Early morning... diving... licking... peanut butter... banana... scratch... wool... with feeling... brush teeth... tonic... chase... humour...

"Seems I have to build a web page as the photo album thing won't work, more hassle, still, a website isn't such a bad idea I guess."

*giggles at Pierce's problem*
...go better nice bum drink naked

*crawls across the floor, hungry and thirsty from too much backlog...*