h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Justin regains conciousness... again...
and extends arm out seriously... again... and the lightsaber flys back into his hand... again...

This time, he approaches NYC cautiously, with the lightsaber ON, getting ready to block any incoming blows

*a large green figure takes a flying leap down from the large hole straight for Corrupt. He gets whacked over the head by a seemingly innocent floating staff for a while, but manages to get the Invisibility Amulet. Corrupt appears, Kudos disappears, and Corrupt starts grabbing around at the air, fuming...*

*meanwhile, Kudos has used the OTHER item he has stolen from Corrupt to disappear from the room entirely, headed for another forum. The only observable effect of this is the sudden change of Corrupt's robes to a pink frilly dress, and her staff to a bamboo stick*

...gahhHHHHHHHHH! CURSE YOU, KUDOS!

*NYC just as resolutely tugs at Maw's foot to send the biblical wannabe into the drink, but upon doing do fails to notice the water levels having shrunk a bit, and sends both flying into the newly uncovered pavement. A short flight indeed.*

WHUMP!

*Just as soon as this happens, JJ the Crazed Mercenary runs up a third time to do damage with his favorite weapon in the whole wide universe. NYC obviously needs something with the chances of massive collateral damage. Well, not obviously, but it's more fun that way. He takes out a bottle of cheap Saki and runs over to DD with the intention of ripping off a corner*

*CYN clinically kicks NYC very hard in the groin*

Take that you dreadful little man ! That's for spoiling my outfit. I just cannot believe we are related - whatever will the guys down at my Club think !

*combs hair in satisfaction*

*NYC hunches over in obvious pain, when he pauses and looks incredibly interested*

Ooww.. ooh, look at this! I haven't noticed that little bruise there, or that little dirt mark... wonder how long I had that, being underwater all this time - it's easier to see what with the ripped pants and all, but look! Methinks it's quite the nice knee. Here, CYN, come a little closer and look at how terribly interesting~~...

*NYC takes CYN by the ears and introduces him to his knee*

By the way, your hair looks amazing but your nose... ooh...

*feels his nose which is now closer to his right ear than before*

Mab node id bwogen !

*pokes NYC in left eye with index finger*

my EYE! AAugh! I'd hurt you back, but I've two more on my heels so-- *kpwing*

*NYC darts toward DD, and suddenly trips over an oddly placed cupboard thanks to lack of depth perception*

* lands heavily on the pavement *

[MaW] Ouch!

* climbs to his feet *

[MaW] Perhaps I should call and cancel my dinner arrangements. This may take longer than I thought.

* he produces a nondescript black metal rod from somewhere and gives it a sharp shake. It extends at both ends into a substantial quarterstaff with a crackle of electricity indicating it's also a shock stick *

[MaW] Let's see how we do with this, shall we?

*DD is now very full of water*

Whew. I feel so bloated...

I wonder what would happen if I de-activated my Hero Dial?

*ponders*

*looks for somewhere to hide ....... there is nowhere !

*curls up into a tight little ball*

*with a great flourish, Justin puts away the lightsaber (?!) and pulls aout NYC's confiscated Smart Gun*

Mua Ha Ha!!!

*Points gun at the nearest Bad Guy*

*opens one eye*

*ponders*

Well, no-one seems to object...

*de-activates Hero Dial, resulting in a massive fountain around his person, quite an impressive fountain, which unfortunately runs dry after only a few seconds...*

Ah.

*sopping wet heroes and villains have been thrown against all the walls of the U-space*

Oh, dear...

*glares from all sides*

Sorry. I thought the water would disappear?

*shifts uncomfortably*

*slides slowly down a wall until he reaches the ground where he finds a sodden Smart Gun sitting in a puddle next to him*

*shaking it dry he sights on the wet form of NYC on the other side of the forum. He presses the trigger*

~Smart Gun~

Hello, I'm your personal weaponry assistant and I will be serving the violent act of your choice to your selected target today. May I go through our specials for your pleasure ?

~CYN~

No just shoot him with something nasty will you

~Smart Gun~

Thank you sir, this won't take a moment. Today we can tempt you with a traditional 1940's pulp science fiction space blaster which will drizzle your opponent all over this forum. It is complemented with an exquisite metal trim with handmade details.

~CYN~

No thanks just shoot him with a traditional lead bullet will you. NOW OK

~Smart Gun~

Thank you sir, but surely lead bullets are sooo last year. If you're not in favour of our 1940's retro special can I tempt you our .....

*throws Smart Gun at NYC's head*

*smart gun fires wildly, obviously a bit annoyed at not being used properly*

Aargh!!! Run Away!!! Run Away!!!

The smartgun lands agsinst the wall just above NYC's head, and clanks to the floor. NYC thanks the higher dieties for this unexpected gift, especially after the whole forum flooding - this feels somewhat like Charlton Heston's Moses, put on fast forward... or is it rewind? NYC picks up the smartgun*

Muhahaha!

*smart gun fires wildly, partly from annoyance, partly because its controlling characters is not entirely sane*

against*
character without an s*

*NYC curses keyboard. keyboard blows up. NYC is paralyzed. damned typos*

* MaW aims a solid thwack with his electrified quarterstaff at NYC's thigh, attempting simultaneously not to get hit by the wildly firing smart gun *

*NYC, already soaked to the bone, is quite shocked by the matter*

*BRZZZT* yipe!

*NYC collapses; a plume of smoke draws up from him. He twitches. MaW looks closer at the mess. NYC's leg snaps, hitting MaW in some tender spots*

*in a calm determined manner CYN rises and removes a Dial-a-Gun from his shoulder holster. He overrides the predictive pro-logic circuitry and using a manual input selects a special custom setting. The chameleon technology instantly converts the Dial-a-Gun to a special circumstance field generator*

*He takes careful aim across the thread at NYC's position selects his target and presses the trigger*

*an electric blue moron pulse streaks across the forum and hits the Smart Gun turning it into an Ignorant Gun*

Hah !