h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

The slogan could be "Have virus, will travel."

Another advantage of quarantine has been found: The weekly practice marching of the Spielmannszug (local amateur brass band) in a certain German village has been cancelled

Sadly, my neighbours at both sides decided that it would be a good time for home improvement this long weekend. It seemed like a contest: How many holes can you drill in concrete before the equipment catches fire…? (a lot, apparently)

I live close to our country's largest cottage area and a friend of mine complains that there is noise from every conceivable motorized tool each and every single weekend and day off all through the summer: Drills, circular saws, chainsaws, lawnmowers ...
Something seems to indicate that many people have never really understood the meaning of a holiday home

The only thing I think of when I think about cottages is cheese.

Yeah, this is as it should be.

(although cottage cheese looks different)

I've never lived in a cottage made of cheese.
What is it like. Do answer, please.

Years ago I spent holidays in Switzerland. One evening we went to a restaurant that specialized in Raclette. It was wonderful. Candlelight and happy customers. And the food was delicious. As were the wines

But one of my sister-in-laws forgot her jacket there. So the next morning I volunteered to go and get it. The odor of the now cold and dark restaurant in the morning was like walking into a sock that hadn't been washed for weeks

Rule #1 for raclette: If you can still smell the cheese, you need to add more garlic.
Rule#2 of raclette: The amount om wine that goes into the raclette equals the amount that goes into the cook.

I'm not familiar with Raclette, but I'm now reminded of something I saw on a travel show once.

This was one of those shows featuring "controversial" foods (read: disgusting). They visited Southeast Asia looking for Durian fruit. This is a very large greenish brown fruit with thousands of stubby spikes covering it. It's reportedly delicious when eaten, but emits a disgusting odor when first cut open. Many hotels post signs at their doors and in the rooms banning durians from the premises. They interviewed one hotelier who told them about one instance where some tourists cut open a durian in their room. This requires fumigation to remove the smell. Some neighboring tourists from France came down to the desk to complain. The concierge turned it around by telling them their neighbor had bought some cheese. "Well, in that case it smells delicious!"

White wine?

As far as I recall, a raclette is a block of cheese propped on the hearth. As the side nearest the fire melts, you scrape it into your plate. Not sure where you put wine in that. Drink it with it by all means.

For home use, most people use a gadget which melts a slice of the special raclette cheese in a little individual pan under an electric hot plate. You scrape it off the pan onto your plate and eat it with bread or potatoes. Garlic can be added to the pan to the taste of the individual.

So... complicated fondue?

re 333:

That's a good way of putting it. Check out pictures on the net.

re 331:

Any wine. The Swiss make excellent wine by the way. So good they drink most of it themselves actually. Which is sad if you don't live there

Don't forget the red port that goes with it. (at least, that was tradition where I attended the cheesy festivities)

Raclette Welsh must enjoy it.

I used to want a girl in every port. But these days I want a port in every girl

Budumptsh!

Maybe you can look for a girl named Portulaca.