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Posted Nov 30, 2012
R:ght f:lks
Th:s thr::d :s :ll :b::t s:v:ng. W: h::r :b::t s:v:ng th: :v:r d:pl:t:ng f:sh st:cks :r::nd th: w:rld, w: h::r :b::t s:v:ng :n:rgy :s :n g:s :nd :l:ctr:c.
:t’s s:v: th:s, s:v: th:t :nd th: :th:r :nd :b::t r:cycl:ng :v:ryth:ng p:ss:bl:.
S: :'m j::n:ng th: cl:b!
B:t :'ll m:k: : k:ll:ng :nd pr:f:t :n my "s:v:ngs" :nd :'ll h:v: th: w:rld m:rk:t :n th:s c:mm:d:ty. :'ll b: th: s:l: :wn:r :nd n: sh:r:h:ld:rs, :s :t'll n:t b: :n th: st:ck :xch:ng:.
T: :xpl::n, :'m g::ng t: s:v: VOWELS - :h y:s! S::nds d:ft d:n't :t, b:t th:nk :f th: s:v:ng :n p:p:r :s:g:, th: s:v:ng :n typ:ng :nd th: l:ss:n:ng :ffl:ct::n :f h:nd :nd wr:st :nj:r::s c::s:d by typ:ng th:t :s C:rp:l T:nn:l Syndr:m:, th:r:f:r: s:v:ng :n h::lth :ns:r:nc: :nd th: N:t::n:l H::lth S:rv:c: :nd t:m: :ff w:rk.
S: s:nd m: y::r VOWELS :nd h:lp m: m:k: tr:: :q::l:ty f:r :ll (:xc:pt th: r:ch)
: w:ll th:n c:ntr:l th: :nt:r: VOWEL m:v:m:nt :f th: w:rld! (A play on words there
)
: w:ll b:c:m: th: Ch::f :x:c:t:v: :ff:c:r :f th: W:rld B:nk :f VOWELS.
:nd th:r:f:r: w:ll s:t th: c:sts :f :s:ng VOWELS :nd:r s:p:rv:s::n.
Th:r:f:r: br:ng:ng j:bs :nd tr::n:ng f:r th: :n:mpl:y:d, :ncl:d:ng :r:: VOWEL :nsp:ct:rs, w:th p:w:rs t: c:nf:sc:t: :nr:g:st:r:d VOWELS. R:s:lt:ng :n t:x:s f:r th: g:v:rnm:nts, p:tting m:n:y :nt: th: :c:n:my v:: w:ges :n t: th: p:ck:ts :f th: w:rk:ng cl:ss.
:nd s::ing th:t th: r:ch :lw:ys scr:w :s :p, th:y’ll h:v: v:ry r:str:ct:d VOWEL m:v:m:nt :d-:nf:n:t:m.
(Same play on words there
)
Discuss this Journal entry [23]
Latest reply: Nov 30, 2012
Not a Mrs Naj Opomo
Posted Nov 3, 2012
I've told you a MILLION times, don't exaggerate
I went to bed with TWO good books - kinky!
going to bed with a good book is useless, they don't kiss back properly
I soiled my bed, now I can eat 
oes and other salad crops without getting up
I burnt my house down
short term sauna's are NOT a good idea
there was a knock at my door - I'm google-ing it to see where the country is he came from
my phone rang (a mates name came up on the screen) "it's me! I'm just phoning to see if your in" I answered YEP! and put the phone down
Discuss this Journal entry [1]
Latest reply: Nov 3, 2012
From beyond
Posted Oct 5, 2012
How many times have you heard someone say "he/she spoke to me from beyond the grave".
Said in real life and on TV sit-coms inc' films etc.
BUT! odd on a mo' just how far away from the grave were you when they spoke ? 6ft ? 10 yards? bottom of the street ? 3 miles ? were they buried at sea ? or even cremated ? and if you were cremated, you wouldn't technically have a grave. so how can you speak to "me" from one unless you've nicked someone else's or done a squat in one.
Do these spirits have a piece of string and two tin cans, do they have mobile/cell phones ? as they could be 6ft under in a foreign country.
Making it a bit hard to be heard depending on where you are in the world when they spoke to you eh!
Plus! as speech needs air pressure to send sound waves etc, how can a spirit without lungs take a deep breath ? and say "can you hear me"!
Maybe with added "this is a recording"
Do you reply yes! but I was told NOT to talk to strangers!
Does the spirit say "you know who I am" ?
OK! give me a clue, as your voice seems very distant and I can't recognise it.
IT'S (persons name) - tha' knows who it is! it's me ok
Ah! NOW I recognise you, but wait a minute! tha' never talked to me much when tha' was alive, so how come now ? I don't owe you money do ah ?
You're not going to start spamming in my head are you? now you know where it is.
This is NOT to be associated with folk who say the voices in my head told me to do this, that or the other.
As no one has ever had a grave in their head (at least not recorded
), so beyond the grave isn't inside the cranium ok
before the voice goes, do you ask it if it knows the winning numbers for the next national lottery draw!
Spirits from beyond is one thing, but money is another
so any advantage, take it
no ethereal voices were hurt during the writing of this thread 
Discuss this Journal entry [6]
Latest reply: Oct 5, 2012
Do you expect anything less ? t'is a Prof thread
Posted Aug 30, 2012
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.- -. -.. / -. --- .-- / - .... . / ... .. -.. . / -... . - / .. ... / .... --- .-- / -- .- -. -.-- / .--. --- ... - ... / .-- .. .-.. .-.. / .-. . .--. .-.. -.-- / - --- / - .... .. ... / .--. --- ... - / .. -. / -- --- .-. ... . / -.-. --- -.. .
.- -. -.. / -.-- --- ..- / - .... .. -. -.- / .. -- / -.. .- ..-. - / -... ..- - / -.-- --- ..- .-. . / - .... . / --- -. . ... / .-. . .--. .-.. -.-- .. -. --. / - --- / .. - / --. .-. . .- - / -... . .. -. --. / -.-. ..- .-. .. --- ..- ... / .- .. -. - / .. - / .- -. -.. / .. - / .- .. -. - / .- / -. --- - .. -.-. . / - .... .-. . .- -.. / --- .-. / .-. . .-.. .- - . -.. / - --- / - .... . / .. - / - .... .-. . .- -..
Discuss this Journal entry [31]
Latest reply: Aug 30, 2012
hob ser vat shun (spellchecker broke)
Posted Aug 4, 2012
Well what a mess I’m in! Stuck here in the dark, in the middle of nowhere just baking away in this searing heat.
Mother told me of the harshness’s of life in the fast lane as they say.
BUT! Would I listen? Nah!
Being a raw bun, I thought I knew it all.
Two egg-cells talking with each other and one said - you know something? This predetermined marriage stuff isn't all it’s hyped up to be.
The other egg-cell asked why she thought that.
Well! Said the first, the other night, I was set up with this sperm-cell and now I'm stuck with him.
Will you STOP playing with the baby and go and buy a cricket ball
(Could be a double meaning there)
Hey love! It says on telly that the worlds going to end tomorrow.
Well! You’ve still got time to finish the ironing then haven’t you?
I see you’ve won a gold medal for England?
NO! I’ve won a gold medal for Yorkshire and any idea how much it’s worth scrap value?
(US Tight? Nah! It’s only a rumour)
Why don’t you run for President?
Give over, it’s hard enough just running for a bus.
I ran over two milk bottles the other day and needed two new tyres.
Didn’t you see them?
NAH! Bloody kid had them hid under his coat
Discuss this Journal entry [18]
Latest reply: Aug 4, 2012
Prof Animal Chaos.C.E.O..err! C.E.Idiot of H2G2 Fools Guild (Official).... A recipient of S.F.L and S.S.J.A.D.D...plus...S.N.A.F.U.
Researcher U1046172
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