h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Mars looks a nice planet to open a Bar I wonder what we should call it

The Mars bars and a self service ice cream bar.

Raisin' th' (Bar).

Electrolytes, oil changes and lubes for the 'droids in the annex.

latest report for NASA HQ - some crew members have been asking for a veranda/patio adding to the space stationso sun loungers can be used to get a sun tan, as there's no tanning salon anywhere near us

Want a tan go stand in front of the reactor and open the door

that's only for the breakfast toast or 2

that's only for the breakfast toast or 2 and beans on toast

just as I was watching an episode of M.A.S.H. couldn't one of you lot have done it ??

Huston! can we have metal plant pots brought up (magnetised of course) the clay ones are floating away and anyone can see where we leave the spare door key

Letting the dog out must be fun

As this is a cheap job we assume that Houston is based in the Village in Scotland

http://www.hasbro.com/en-us/brands/furby

sorry! no s on space station but! we do have a furby

They look like tribbles/ pygmy puffs except for the ears.

It would be disastrous if tribbles were brought into the station.

the crew think they're sponges for washing the stations windows

You mean those things aren't spilled sofa cushion and bean bag stuffings?

AW! don't tell everybody, I've got a good franchise going. Each and everyone trained for it's particular job = sofa cushion, bean bag, washing sponges. Only eat and or multiply when humans are at sleep

9th Dec 2015

it's snowing outside the space station

NO IT AIN'T! it's that foreign astronaut that never washes his hair gone space walk again, bragging on how long he can hold his breath

...perhaps if you spike his shampoo with a little selenium sulphate?

it wain't happen again, he forgot to tether his lifeline rope he gone walk-about

There's a talent contest and there are quite a few of the crew have taken up to playing the guitar and singing ground control to Major Tom song.