h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

space suits can only hold so much

That reminds me of Maggie May's story about fart control in the girls dorm when she was attending University.

The cry would go up, "Hold it! Hold it! Have you ever lighted a fart? Let me get my lighter!"

Then they'd light it up, making a blue toot.

Honest, that's what she said.




From that, one can go to a number of related wilderness and deep space survival tricks.

astronaut tim peake - we're european - no we're not - we're european - no we're not - we're european - no we're not - we're european - no we're not

will you quit saying that, every time we pass over the bloody continent!

It would be great if we had an Eurovision karaoke night.

Well you wont upset the neighbours

Commander to NASA HQ, we have a strange Phenomenon going on outside the space station ? it's foggy! ???

oh! hold on a second! cancel last remark NASA, someone in the galley has burnt the Waldorf salad

Your cook could burn water

Must be that new, weight saving, magnesium cookware.

They said not to microwave.

Ref 322
A blow back could be painful

you want to see the pizza kid on the moped panting for air
delivered by a certain time or free - we've never paid for one yet

NO! NO! NO! and NO! You can offer any amount of money you want BUT! D Trump is definitely NOT coming here for any sort of visit, even if it's to inspect the outside loo's broken door airtight-seal

There will be a day long coffee session with lots of , serving instead of and a day long extremely boring meeting where there will be a lot of shuffling of papers, humming and harring as announcements will be made about in-house seminars involving group hugs, losing yourself and then finding yourself.

most of the world is "rolling out" super-fast broadband and cable etc, when are we going to get it ?
Avengers Assemble are going to be drawing their pensions before we get it

I think we are going to have to ask Agents of SHIELD as they have the best computer system, I have ever seen. It's a pity Daisy Johnson has gone AWOL.

no shield up here please, no room at the inn

Has the space station got a pub now

oh no! we stopped alcoholafter an astronaut went outside for a pee(no space suit on)

we've beat nasawe've discovered interstellar travelonly one problem thoughStella's gone home

Stella here with a consignment of Stella Lager