h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

If life throws orange sauce at you, duck!

here hen'deth the first lesson

In our local drama group we are going to make a pantomine version of the Nutcracker Suite ballet but turned into a singing version and the person who'll be the sugar plum fairy who has the plumiest of voices even though she works as a plumber and when she speaks she sounds as though she has a plum in her voice.

And the cast will be having their annual Christmas dinner where of course they'll be served plum pudding for dessert.

good cluck in the Henley Royal Regatta and don't get ducking if the boat sinks

How many eggs can a Henley?

I saved up 3 acity, but a mate of mine who was clever had tenacity

When it rained, did your friend use them for acity slickers?

he poured over itbut too much thinking and he became washed out

There's a lot of thinking going on in my yam fields. I think, therefore a yam.

can Japanese eggs come in - yoke a yam a

Mark my word Mark you'll be hen-pecked by Hen-rietta if you don't tidy up after yourself and you'll have your card marked if you don't keep up your promise to finish all the d.i.y jobs that you promised to do.

chicken soup is not a tin of heinz that runs away

If you feed chicken soup to Clark Kent, does he become souperman?

would he be cock-a-leekie

No, but he might enjoy Kent-ucky Burgoo.

mam! can I have a large soda? NO! you can have a minnesoda


(minnesota)

I've drunk a few soft drinks in my life, but I've never seen a soda pop. I'd remember something that loud.

I lived in Laburnum Terrace in a detached cottage where in my back garden grew a laburnum tree along with a creeping Ivy plant which I got from my friend Ivy and a juniper tree from the Jolly Juniper garden centre.

But the apple of my eye were the apple and quince trees in my front garden that always had a good crop every autumn and I would be making quince jelly whilst watching Dr Quince-y MD in the kitchen on my portable tv.

On the first of July it was safe to remove the muzzle from my June-nipper tree.

if you can sink a sink, can you bowl a bowl