h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

i was busy admiring mara's thongs, she was looking like a grek goddess, but then her father came after me with his pitchfork and broke the olympic record player - which was me

He was in the middle of a karaoke session when chest pains made him collapse. He was rushed to the hospital and underwent open heart surgery. A patch was put on his aorta, using material taken from a thong. A few days later he was ad good as new, except for an irresistible urge to sing:


With a thong in my heart

jester one corneto, give it to me or Ice'll cream

and welcome MonkeyS

Whenever I had a Greek themed dinner party, I would prepare all my vegetables ala grecque and play the theme tune to Zorba Greek when seving dishes to my guests.

And when I was on holiday in Greece, I was told that the Greeks can't stay out late because there have a Corfu.

they use zorba oil in garages to absorb spillages

King Minos's kingdom was a-maze-ing.

a centaur missed the so had to hoof it

Another centaur wanted to have the whole bus to himself, but they kicked him off because he was too self-centaured.

a man said to the doctor, have I got Hermes, the doc said no! just an hernia

I once heard a woman say that she had to leave because hernials had started to split.

glad it was her and not Uranus, could painful around The Pleiades

The obly time Uranus has problems is when thew Klingons arrive.

Hades! I'm off then

You seem Mercurial today, by Jupiter! If you're off to bed, I hope nothing Mars your sleep.

Have you noticed how ineptune some buskers are?

i ordered hot tuna but they started to play cool jazz

soul music is a dead giveaway

[Sits in a corner reading George Burns's book "They love me in Altuna"]

One busker did a freefall jump playing the guitar. He had some pluck.