h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

We booked a hotel room in Paris based on the promise of French toast at breakfast. When we got to the dining room in the morning, the maitre d' raised a glass of to us.

Our fool English breakfast was served by a clown.

I have a pet canary and it cost me a gran(d).

That makes it a Gran(d) Canary.

I'm going to gran Canaria but Fuertventuras are in the pipeline.

I always have trouble eating all of my scrambled elk and Yorkshire poo-ding.

I've never eaten elk, but I've had a chocolate moose (mousse).

Moose can be chocolate brown. I've seen a few of that ilk

I read about this guy who plans to become a famous rap artist. He wants to perform under the nom de plume Gershwin and all his albums will be sold in blue covers.

He reckons this way he'll be famous for Gershwin's rap CD's in blue ...

He sang solo, solo you couldn't hear him

[ for Pierce]

The theater was a dangerous place. There were trap doors that opened under the audiences' seats every time they applauded. This gave literal meaning to the expression claptrap.

I recently helped put up the props for a musical, we were screwed. I proposed next year's play to be "Arabian knights / with 1001 torx screws"

Scheherazade, but her sister's even odder.

Significant odder?

I wonder if Scherazade ever got treated for her stutter..

Maybe the best treatment was to open sesame seeds.

Would it have been better if he sister was an uneven otter?

only if she was leading a harem scarem life.

old amps for new...

(gas fired power stations to nuclear ones ?)

24,037 pun posts congratulations to all pure geniuses!!!

How about a fire powered gas station, wouldn't that be a blast?

Water you talking about?