h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Did the fall cause memory loss or do you have turtle recall?

you shouldn't go skate'ing at your age wrong plaice to be in winter

The pie maker who lived in a high raised building that reached the clouds, wanted to make the best and most tastiest blackberry pie in the whole world. It was a case of pie in the sky.

Brewery workers demand for concessional beer for their consumption, was considered on a case by case basis, and a ration-ale decision was reached by the management

After a berry successful attempt to produce a new line of crops, her dreams came to full fruition.

If it's hailing ? how come there's no beer or lager about ?

Maybe Hai Ling is the bar's waitress, and she's off duty tonight?

How Long is an average Chinese man

Long Wey Tee Ting is Chinese for a railway spur

Whenever people hail for a taxi, it begins to hail.

All hail the holy taxi!

I hailed a taxi in St. Peter's Square. They sent the Popemobile

I can manage if it's raining cats and dogs, but not when it's hailing streetcars and taxis.

I tried break dancing in a china shop and got bullish results.

George Weasley said to his brother Fred that he is saintlike because he is holey (as he has hole where his ear was).

When the church bought gas for their annual barbecue, proceeds went from the sacred to the propane.

When the car failed the inspection due to faulty stopping ability, the cars' owner said: 'Give me a break.'

Why didn't the bicycle want to move?

because it was two-tired (too tired)

a oriental man with 20 children could be called "Too lin Too Long"

Punaise: a French pun you wouldn't want to step on.