h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

"As a vegan, I think people who sell meat are disgusting; but apparently people who sell fruit and veg are grocer" - Adele Cliff

Although I don;t sell veggies, I grow them. I gave away a zucchini yesterday, and I'm likely to have more beans than I can handle soon.

[I forgot that this is a pun thread ]

Somewhere in my front yard, covered up by huge zucchini leaves and dangling green beans, there is a cherub. It's a weathered cement color. This Fall, after the vegetables die, someone will ask what it is.

"It's my gardening angel," I'll say.

My vertically challenged garden keepers gave up on my park during the drought and went to visit their relatives in (G)nome, Alaska

"zucchini" An Italian motorbike ?

On the Muppet Show, the Zucchini brothers are a trapeze act. Their most spectacular trick is to miss the trapeze and come down with a squash .

I came down with a cold

I tried to outrun a fever but it caught up with me

What's the difference between Adlai Stevenson's running mate and a sick crow?

One is Kefauver, and the other is Cawfever.

a bird in the hand, is better than a cowpat in the other

Why did the detective hide in a hedge?

Because he was a privet eye.

I hedged my bets and won a tree

Is it small, medium-sized, or treemendous?

(Thank you Pierce for the kind compliment)

While I was ambling in Ambleside, I noticed that the road and pavements was covered in sand. As I went inside the Sandy's Ambleside fish restaurant. I asked Sandy owner why it was so sandy. She replied "that she was beside her self with anxiety as the sand even get's into her restaurant. She told she did not know why it was so sandy, but the sand had even got into the tea shop's sandwiches.

Ann who is a titled lady from Aberlady who had recently became friends with Aberforth Dumbledore. Aberforth bought her an enchanted comb from Acomb which made her smooth and completely free from split ends and even cured from her scalp dermatitis . She thought this was funny as she did not believe it could be true. Ann laughed until she split her sides.

Ann who is a titled lady from Aberlady who had recently became friends with Aberforth Dumbledore. Aberforth bought her an enchanted comb from Acomb which made her hair smooth and completely free from split ends and even cured from her scalp dermatitis . She thought this was funny as she did not believe it could be true. Ann laughed until she split her sides.

When Abigail was to travelling to Waltham Abbey church in a very strong gail (gale) where she was going to apply to join the church choir. When Abigail arrived for the church choir auditions she sang to the best of her abi-ility.

The church chaplain had started a new chapter in her life when she joined the cathedral chapter at Wells cathedral where they even have their own well. She told her family that she is fitting in well with the other cathedral staff.

"men" in the belfry so where's the bowlers and fielders ?

Police got it all wrong. Arrested me yesterday and charged me with

A. NaCl
and
B. attery