h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Speaking of theft, you seem to have stolen that remarx. of course, when Marx went into a bakery, he enjoyed what was stollen.

What do French cows chant at a football game?
Au lait, au lait, au lait, au lait!

They must enjoy watching the Chicago Bulls play basketball, then. The sight must make them ebullient.

A street musician was carefully watching his whole notes.

Steamroller operators tend flatter as they roll on and also tend to run out of steam. They need to refuel by drinking a steaming hot cup of tea and bacon roll.

Steamroller operators tend to flatter as they roll on and also they tend to run out of steam by lunch time. They need to refuel by drinking a steaming hot cup of tea and bacon roll.

the courthouse was full of colts and fillies, they were conducting horse trials

The judge was trying to find a wife, but his courting was trial and error.

The losers of the horse trials were left with long faces

In a Western town, Halloween was traditionally the time when masked children riding goats went trick or treating. They were goat riders in disguise.

In my youth during the salad days of summer, I would go courting with beau. We would go picnicking at Sheepwash bank where we had salad with pickles. We would bank on one short shower and I would get in a pickle where one of my court shoes would get stuck in the mud.

When I was young, I used to drink cabbage wine regularly. This was in my salad daze.

the race, many were trying to ketchup

My horse got lost on a huge farm. I hoped no one would beet it to death. I expected that it would turnip eventually, though.

I asked for some swedes but was offered sugar beets

Bob my uncle who told me that he is never short of a few bob and he is always collecting bits and bobs. He recently got a bob haircut which he would show off when he would bob and weave on his weaving machine. His catch phrase was Bob's your uncle even to people who are not related to him.

I planted my beetroots in my garden greenhouse which have been a great success last year. My beetroots got first prize at the agriculture fayre which beet the rest of the competition, making my competitors green with envy.

The Scandinavian chef went to the supermarket and brought some Stockholm to Sweden the pot.

Maybe in when I am staying at my flat in West Ham in London when I am taking part in Hamlet; I think I will have a ham and cheese hoagie, but to prepare myself for a large sandwich, I will sing 'A Mayonnaising Graze.’

I would rather look at cheeses than edam.