h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Hi Ben,

Here are our answers to the specific points you raised:

1) Yes, there is room in the Guide for a piece that says that time travel is a possibility. There is one already.

2) No. To accept the possibility that something might happen in the future is not strong enough evidence to then postulate that something might have already happened without veering too far towards creative writing.

3) No. Because it assumes that time travel is possible and we don't actually know that it will happen and there is no tangible evidence that time travellers exist, therefore it enters into the realms of fiction.

4a) No, because the invention of mayonnaise probably wasn't spontaneous, it's likely to have been an evolutionary process.

4b) Yes and no, you can say that mayonnaise is too good to miss, because it was invented and it caught on, but it hasn't been established that it actually is an anachronism.

5) Yes and no, the Edited Guide is a collection of accepted knowledge, so any hypotheses that go into the Guide should reflect current or past collected thinking on that subject.

As it stands your entry is not suitable for the Edited Guide. We hope that these answers help you understand our decision.

Thanks for the clarification, guys. Since it is not suitable for the Edited Guide, I will take it out of PR so it doesn't clutter the place up.

All the best

B

Bill, this is great - have you tried submitting it to the Post? As a plausible hypothesis, it, well, falls short. But as an amusing diversion, it's wonderful.

Brilliant
I knew the french were involved in this somehow though...

Glad you like it.

I am still not sure whether to re-write the thing entirely and re-submit it to the Guide, or put it forward to the Post.

Thanks for commenting.

Ben

*looks at the editors' post*

5) Sorry, your entry is just too original. If someone had said something like this before it might be okay.

*probably shouldn't have said anything*

Hey, no worries.

It was a joke.

Well, the entry wasn't, but the post was.

B

Yes I know.

I apologise to all, for this partial re-post (it appears on a different thread). It appears that I missed all of the discussion here, and seek to defend the piece as an example of logic and simplicity. The posting assumes that one understands the term Occam's Razor.
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It's still a bizarre enough concoction that its appearance could have meaning.

Perhaps we have looked at it all wrong? The production of mayo is certainly not intuitive, and you were correct that it was not an evolutionary step from some other culinary product.

Perhaps, given time travel, Occam's Razor gives us a clue? Perhaps the simplest answer is that concoction that we have come to refer to as mayonaisse is the result of a complex computer program that could predict the final product and then reverse engineer the solution as to its production. This would probably take the form of a more complex version of the Nutrimatic Drink Dispenser.

Imagine some future person, low in weight and cholesterol, needing additional acids in their stomache and roughage in their diet, goes up to a 'Lithe & Portly Lunchomatic Salad Maker' that scans their anatomy, etc., etc., and invariably delivers a salad topped with a substance that is almost, but not quite, entirely unlike Italian Dressing?
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I realize that a history of Mayo was captured here (from the battle of Mahon), but it still is not an intuitive process. This cook of Napolean Bonaparte was most certainly a time traveler. Apparently he left NB before Waterloo.

I love it! It is a shame it is to late to incorporate your theory, drop by drop, into the entry.

So... in some unspecified future time we have someone who programmes a machine, which devises mayo (with recipe), which then becomes part of the culture.

Then, in the future of that same time-line, we have a beautiful historian who likes recreational cooking. She is sent on assignment to the Battle of Mahon, but doesn't know the culinary significance of where and when she is. She helps out the Duc de Richeleiu's chef, (who takes all the credit - how like a Frenchman), and inadvertantly lets the mayo-meme loose in the world.

The Time Police become aware of the anachronoism, and assign it to one of their own to remove it, but he is too fond of Pastrami on Rye with extra Mayo to comply. (Presumably he files a false report, saying that it is too complicated a gordian temporal knot to undo).

Et voila! Mayonnaise, for now and forever!

Thanks, Ford's Towel. You have provided humanity with a great service!

Ben