h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I wonder when my cold will go away.

I like you, but I think you do not love me because you neither sent me a text nor an email. Therefore I will not meet you to drink beer next weekend.

Don't you just love trying to get your head around another language's tenses?

It has been a very wet morning. I need to go shopping.

I have Rincewind, the Luggage, the Librarian, Death and two Ganeshas (one wooden, one brass) clustered together at the foot of my monitor, with Thoth off to one side because he wouldn't fit.

What, no Greebo?

some of them actually wear clothes on Sunday

You should know by now that home made garments are never cheaper than ready made things, but that's beside the point.

What do we want? A cure for obesity!
When do we want it? After dinner!

The medieval fighters came, they fought, they conquered, then they fell about laughing when coming across a group of politicians making election promises.

sometimes, but only sometimes I think I am, but really I know I am not

I need to wash my hair.

I would go out tonight, but I haven't got a stitch to wear.

I should have been in bed hours ago!

thank goodness for reality television

I need to go and put the washing out, but first of all I have to go and do some shopping. My cat Simba looks like he is trying to read the newspaper.

To the hungry, everyone else looks like rivals in the queue for the buffet.

I tried, I really did, but you, well I that was a failure

I am going to need to get my hair cut as it is irritating my scalp.

I want a lazy day, but I really should do some laundry.

I still don't understand what Simba is saying.