h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Hmmm... with that in mind

Standing up is such a bore
I like to sit down so much more,
To rest my tiring legs and feet,
To place by bottom on a seat,
It will not do too sit too long
Now below my waist, something feels wrong
Getting seated is just greate, just remember where you put the plate

Isn't that cheating - slightly? The last line is two lines!!!!
Sorry - being pedantic again.
I have another one or two cooking but can only write these things when there are no other distractions.

And on that note


Pedantic

People who quibble, that all of the rules
Exactly are followed, are usually fools.
Do they not see that by thinking askance ,
Allows you to have an alternative chance,
No – they just follow their stupid old ways,
Talk about life in their ‘fine good old days’
Idiots all of them down to a man.
Come on, think diff’renltly, that’s if you can.

And on that note


Pedantic

People who quibble, that all of the rules
Exactly are followed, are usually fools.
Do they not see that by thinking askance ,
Allows you to have an alternative chance,
No – they just follow their stupid old ways,
Talk about life in their ‘fine good old days’
Idiots all of them down to a man.
Come on, think diff’rently, that’s if you can.

And here's the other one.

Plagiarists

People who write are apt to quote
Little things that others wrote
Academics claim ‘research’ is fine
Garnering people’s work as ‘mine’
As long as at the end you say,
‘Research was done in the following way’.
In quoting people - careful be
Some names to drop in carefully.
Taking a piece and calling it yours
Sometimes can open prison doors.

Form is important some of us say
Or else anarchy destroys all our fun
Relentlessly pushing for freedom to play
Makes the game over before it's begun

Change the last line
" ease up old buddy or your pen will just rust"

Personal method of getting accross,
Oblique thoughts and emotions that make you cross,
Emotions and experience, wrapped within,
Makes others aware of where you've bin



Don't know about that one...

MICROSOFT

Mechanical
Intelligent
Construct
Responsible for
Online
Sabotage,
Observation and
Forbidden
Troubleshooting

Macintosh

Made for idiots – some do say,
Anyone can use ‘um any old way,
Copied by many – equalled by none,
Infectious to use and nothing but fun,
No other systems can come up to scratch,
Though the price is still something that they do need to match,
Otherwise they are the best that there are,
Storming ahead of Bill Gates by so far,
Had only Steve Jobs sold a different way!!

A long, long, time ago
Before the birth of any we know
A person who was just so inclined
Calculated upon a device so refined
Until the computer replaced it in a flash
Simple math can be had for a fistful of cash

Neat

Sorry - I have spent most of the day trying to get paid.

Accountant
Add up the figures and balance them out
Count all the beans and put down the amount
Countercheck everything three times or more
One more time certainly if it’s before
Undertaking the task of writing a cheque
Never take risks or stick out your neck
Then if you find that there’s one small mistake
Advise the payee that they’ll just have to wait
Nothing makes more for a successful day
Than making them wait until you 'might' pay.

Sorry - shouldn't post twice but on the lines of the last one:

Actuaries
Accountancy can be far too enticing
Counting the beans may be far too exciting
Take up the option that relieves the stress
Underwrite things that may get in a mess
Always be careful, never be rash
Reap in the benefits – plenty of cash
Insurance is peaceful, the rewards are reliant
Encrypt the small print and confuse every client
Some say it is dull but the pay is inviting.

Where is everybody?

That seems to have managed to shut all of you up for a day or two.

Sorry, been swamped with backlog

Let's try...

To attempt to gain a grasp of
Reality,
You place effort on an
Idea,
Nearly always resulting in personal
Gains

Architect
Architecture – without a doubt,
Requires great teamwork throughout,
Combining many different trades,
Half of whom regard him as an,
Idiotic useless man.
They see him as a man who plans and
Expects the others too put it in hand.
Could the builders all be wrong?
Tradesman labour all day long.

Evidently
Made to cause
Aggravation
In
Large amounts

Holidays
Having no work to go to today,
Off to the beach with the children to play
Lie on the beach and swim in the sea
Imbibe a few beers – that will satisfy me
Dig out the mussels when the tide has retired
Amass what you like and just what required
You build a large barbecue, set in the boulders
Stagger home in the evening, small child on your shoulders.