h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

In times when I find I have absolutely nothing to do, and need to wile away my time, I make Acrostic poems on any word. It works by writing lines about the subject using only the subject for the first letter to each sentence. For example:

Erratic
Nouns and verbs
Glued together
Like
Indiscriminate
Shellfish
Having tea

As you can see, they can be as random as you like as long as it's somehow related to the subject - Enjoy! (Hopefully)

OK then - as there is nothing better to do but William McGonnagal springs to mind:
Sassenachs a wont to laugh at
Celtish form of dress.
Oft’ times they think they’re knickerless
Though highlanders know best.
Leave off the sporran
And the kilt
Neath under which there lie, some
Dangly bits, which give the lasses quite a big surprise.

Tangible order of events
Involved with
Mass to
Enshroud the universe

Reuters - today
"Pakistan has ordered that a poem in which the first letters of each line spell out the name "President George W. Bush" be deleted from a school textbook."
Any idea what it was/is?

No, but sounds interesting - must look for that

I think that the Pakistan education authorities were quite right in having this removed from school textbooks:

Patient and steady with all he must bear,
Ready to accept every challenge with care,
Easy in manner, yet solid as steel,
Strong in his faith, refreshingly real,
Isn't afraid to propose what is bold,
Doesn't conform to the usual mold,
Eyes that have foresight, for hindsight wont do
Never back down when he sees what is true
Tells it all straight, and means it all too
Bracing for war, but praying for peace
Using his power so evil will cease:
So much a leader and worthy of trust,
Here stands a man who will do what he must

I can't find a 'vomit' smiley

You might find this appropriate...

Fiendish
Ordinary-ness
On
Little
Stools

Is stools with or without an 'e'?

erm... without

That gives me an idea!

Words and objects not
Inside but
Tending their
Homes
Outside of the
Undercroft of
The proposition

People have to work to eat -
Amongst strange things they do –
They peer through microscopes to find,
How microbes live in poo.
Only they can really claim,
Life’s work’s a load of s**t,
Only they can claim that work has rather,
Got stuck between two stools -
You sit on one examining another.

Very clever!

Calculating
Levels of
Enlightenment and
Vending wisdom to
Everyone about
Reality

Whatever we make of people’s minds,
Intelligence comes in different kinds,
Sharpness of wit does not – per se
Determine what we do or say,
Only experience leads us to,
Maturity in what we say and do.

You certainly have a talent for acrostics I could only dream of - getting them to rhyme!

I'll just keep posting my random lines...

Really
Atrocious
Non-sequiturs
Demonstrating lack
Of logic. By the way,
Mandible

Thank you Nick - you are driving me mad and have now got me at it. This one you can take either the first word or the whole line.

Random - Serendpity

Sometimes, when wond’ring what to do,
Expect the unexpected.
Random thoughts often lead to
Events quite unpredicted.
Never fear the unforeseen,
Doubt not the laws of chance.
Instability of mind
Particularly th’ artistic kind
If’t taken as they’re meant to mean
Trouble not the well connected
You will not be unaffected.

Driving you mad? Well, I do my best...

Distracting
Road usage
In many differing
Velocities and conditions to
Illogically end
Near where you were
Going

Very appropriate as I have just obtained my learner'ss permit!

Perambulation is permitted,
Especially for the dim witted,
Rambling round the parish bounds,
Making strange outlandish sounds,
Incumbents of church in wrath,
Thrash all small boys who cross their path.

'Beating the Bounds' when (I think) it is still legal to beat small boys on the pretext that they will then remember where they live.

I hope not...

Horrible feeling
Of
Positivity often
Eliminated as information is obtained

Well, I'm kid of feeling depressed - hope it goes away before Christmas...

(Cheap I know, but I'll have something better next time, I promise...)

Depending on the time of year,
Emotions change – we find we fear,
Precisely what we are not sure,
Regrets, remorse we can’t endure
Each hour from midnight until day,
Seems haunted by the thoughts that weigh
So heavily upon our mind
In constant conflict we’re entwined
Oh that we could forget the pain -
Next year will likely be the same.

Very deep and sad.

Have you experienced depression before?

Entering unknown places and feelings
Xenophobes would
Perhaps not
Encounter in their
Realm of
Interests, while interacting in an
Environment with
Numerous
Challenges that
Extend your boundaries

Yes – been to Hell and back a couple of times – usually a few thousand miles from home - but try to keep smiling and I amn actually very happy.

Pleasure

Phantoms haunt the sleepless night
Life’s troubles, woes and endless blight.
Except one dream and that one only,
Attainable if we can solely,
Stop our thoughts from growing hazy,
Undo our mind from going crazy.
Repress the thoughts of endless strife,
Enjoy each day – for this is life.