h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Cold Turkey

"Could you give up both fags and booze?"
"Of course – I ain’t got nought to lose."
"Like hell you ain’t, after all these years,
Don’t you think it won’t just end in tears?
The shock will wrack you with great pain,
Usu’ly people just go insane."
"Relax – I know what I’m about,
Keep my resolve and have no doubt,
Endure the pain, maintain the aim,
You never know what you might gain."

Blimey! I'm impressed!

In Awe

I feel I'm slightly outclassed
Not really up to the task
After all that you've written
Well, you cannot be beat'n
Each you do is a master-class.

Compliment

Consider and see what others do,
Only always keep your eye on you,
Make comments that are true and pure.
Praise is welcome, that is for sure,
Leaving aside professional cant,
Imbued with hypocritical rant.
Much criticism is undeserved,
Especially – as is oft observed,
Neither giver nor the one who gets,
Takes or gives without any regrets.

Sorry - not really my turn.

Surgeons

Syringes to remove wax from ears
Umbilical scissors once baby appears
Retractors – tools to drag things out
Gall bladder forceps if you’ve got gout
Ear speculas to see the unknown
Osteotomes for chiselling the bone
Needles to sew you up when done,
Scalpels to cut you open – what fun!

Playing with words is always such fun
Oh such sport for when working is done
Every line, it should rhyme
Make them also keep time
Spruce them up some lyrical fiction

Great to have ypu back on the thread - Other than the fact that you appear elsewhere, I was beginning to thnk you had vanished. And having only somes terminally boring work to finish, I made a cup of coffe and wrote this:

Vanished

Virtual reality – just what do you find?
As a child the pictures I saw in my mind,
Needed to be real, based on facts in my head,
I counjoured up pictures from what I’d been read,
So startlingly vivid, so real, just for me,
Hating the cartoons that trivialised Mowgli,
Evolving to violence and killer-take-all,
Disappear and evaporate – go to the wall.

Whoo! That was pretty deeeeeeep!!!!

I'm feeling rather more flighty today, myself.

warmer

Weather it seems is our obsession
A topic we can ever re-fashion
Reminiscing on precipitation
Misty eyed about summers long
Everyone moans when metorologists are wrong
Really should enjoy this warmth, bringing bird song!

Experimenting with a rhyming triplet... not too sure right now..

Sorry - I couldn't resist the challenge - very wrong of me, but I assure you I just do these for inane, harmless fun.

Triplets

Three brats conceived on the very same day,
Require rather more attention,
It’s incredible what you will have to pay,
Pray God for some intervention,
Leaving you worried about you abstention.
Eschew the whims of carnal lust,
Think not about her ample bust,
Such triplets will regain your trust.

Not really my turn but fed up after spending a fortune to be told that there is nothing wrong with me.

Medicals

Must we all be forced by doctors to endure,
Endless tests and checks, about which they’re not sure.
Do they know when they mutter, “Stick out your tongue”,
If it’s the heart or kidney, liver or lung,
Can they practice on others, not practice on me,
And leave me alone and just let me be me.
Let's take some more blood tests it can’t be amiss,
Stools, urine – now come on, who’s taking the piss?.

Visiously tormenting us all
And gaining not a whit in return
No end to their limitless gall
Destruction is all that they earn
And failing to ever learn
Lessons of peace or goodwill
Slash and break, innocents pay the bill










(Things seem to have gotten back to normal over at the
limerick thread)

Thanks - I'll have a lurk around those parts. I like Vandals.

For PBS

Get well

Getting back here to write this
Each word I choose is a hit and miss
Thought I'd try to express my
Worries, hope that by and by
Each pain will cease
Let yourself be helped, please
Loving care will put you at ease.

Tease...

Titillating
Each movement calculated
Arranged to call and invite
Searing your brain with suggestion
Every breath designed to incite.

Revive

Recumbant upon my bed I’ve lain,
Enduring strange illogical pain,
Viewing each test as a new insult,
I look with scorn at the next result,
Vexed and confused, I’m tired of this game,
Ere again, I’ll just soon be the same.

Hope

Having nothing left
Other than feeling bereft
People will never give up
Ere drinking the very last cup.

Chance

Could you be the man that I met in Dubai?
Have I seen you before? Don’t ask me why.
Aren’t you the one in Mahabliparum,
Not having much luck with finding a room?
Come on, just where have I seen you before,
Eritrea, Gabon or was it Lahore?

STRANGER

Sadly, I have never met you
Though I'd love to, that is true.
Random places I would go
Africa, for all I know.
Niger, Egypt, or Morocco,
Going south then with the flow.
East or west or north I roam
Restless, never getting home.

Small World

Sitting – waiting for my flight,
My eyes upon a face alight,
A face I know, but when and where?
Look well - but ask - I hardly dare,
Legacies of life gone by.
We wonder where, who, when and why?
Order one more Tyneside Brown,
Relax – go back to seven down.
“Lagos” a voice cries, “Eighty three
Don’t you even remember me?”

Not my turn but I am bored.

Wander Lust

“Why on earth do you want to go abroad?”
Asked the man at the Halfway House,
“Not enough money, what can’t you afford,
Do you want a foreign spouse? “
“Each to his own – you stay in your pond,”
Replied I biting my tongue,
“Let me go and see all the world that’s beyond,
Use the time whilst I am still young.”
Sitting there thirty years later or more,
The man said “Oi you there, ain’t I seen yer before?”

Stay


Safe and sound
Turned never around
Always been here
Year after year