h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Cheers bud...

Budgie

Brightly coloured
Up and down ladders
Dinging bells
Going for fingers
I tawt i saw a puddy tat!
Everyone loves a budgie.

So - b***er the horses - we're on to birds now!
Parrots
Psittacosis – an infectious disease of these birds,
As well as the fact that they talk too much,
Results that for many these birds are feared.
Repeating the noises as well as the speech,
Only when the right person or peole are there,
Then end their tirade with an ear splitting screech.
Such birds are simply absurd.

Well, why not, thought I'd throw it open...

Pigeon

Part rat part seagull
In cities and towns
Getting right dirty
Eating what they scrounge
Offensive and smelly
No more guano on my windowsill!

Help

However hard I try,
Each new posting makes it worse
Leaves my imagination dry
Perhaps I’ll try and find a verse

Hello

Happy greetings to you dear sir
Easter weekend was warm
Long and sunny
Lazy and fun
Only I couldnt drink alcohol, boo hoo!

Sunshine

So warm in the sun I was burning
Unusually lovely for spring
Not in the slightest bit worried
Slathering on factor fifteen
Hot and stretched out all weekend
In town by the river on grass
Nothing to do but enjoy it
Easter weekend, DIY? My AR$E!

Rain
‘Rather inclement’, the vicar intoned
As it started to pour down with rain
‘Our alfresco meal will best be postponed
Beside eating outside is insane’.

This seems to have stopped, so at the risk of offending everyone, can I add another?

Dentists
Does anyone ever stop to ponder just why,
Extr’ordinary jobs that people doth try,
Needing to suffer from adenosis,
To avoid your patient’s halitosis,
Inspecting old gums with pyorrhea,
Sometimes causing acute diarrhoea
Taking out teeth that have rotted away,
So maybe that’s why they get so much pay.

DENTISTS

"Do sit down, the chair is waiting..."
-Every needle well prepared
-Neon light, not quite sedating
"Trousers airtight? You look scared!"
-In my mouth a strange sensation
"Seven or more teeth must go!"
-There: the anaesthetization
Starts to work: "Please make it so!"

Y.

Brilliant

Longing

Lingering over the whisper of satin... Heaven! Senses melt.
Oh. The ecstacy of her scent, her skin so rarely smelt.
Nothing can he think but her, nothing matters more
Gulping hard he holds her close, whispers, breathes 'J'adore'
Inside he yearns, he needs her close
Not happy when she's gone
Glad to see her home again, Love's sweet, lonely song.

Ooooooooh Gaaaaaaaawd! enough is enough already! But very clever none the less. :0)

huh? what kind of an oh gawd was that? Glad you liked it, on some level at least...

Love

Lingering and longing
Outlasting stormy weather
Virtuous, true and meaningful
Everlasting love, forever.

That's got to be followed with

Lust

Lunging, and totally out of control
Unable to fill a gentleman’s role
Staring at anything but at her face,
‘Tis sad men are such an utter disgrace.

Lusting

Liquid eyes of wanting
Unusually bright with fire
Sensuality, a burning flame
Tense bodies filled with desire
Intimate embraces
Never letting go
Greatest dance of ages, nature's victory. Libido.


Lust isnt always a bad thing eh?

Touché - and your's was far more eloquent than mine.

I liked yours too though... Much more masculine and kind of GRR! than mine... Still evocative of the emotion you were trying to convey... I got it! Wasn't meaning mine as competition.. Just suggesting another side to the subject.

(*cough, splutter*... *removes thesaurus from gob*)

Never EVER let this thread become a competition - to me it is just 'fun' and a chance to learn.