h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

GB, Cheeze, Mac: are we not wasting our time looking for intelligent life on earth? Is that not why most of us h2g2ers are also SETI@home researchers? GB, your kids are NORMAL (perhaps exceptional). Do they think dark cows give chocolate milk?, do they feel sorry for cavemen because they have to wear leprachaun-skin suits?,do they use motor oil to pop corn?, have they ever jumped out the third story window with a bed sheet as a parachute? I should be dead several times over due to stupid (but exciting) things I did as a youth. Did you know Einstein couldn't count his pocket change and,if stopped during a walk for a conservation, he would have to ask you where he was going because he had forgotten during the conversation. My nephew has ADHD bad enough that his doctors have told his parents it might actually be a form of autism. Yet his father (whom I knew as a child and was the same way) is now a gifted jurist. The kids will be OK if you can hold up under the stress. Expalin natural gas to them. Perhaps use helium as a "fun" example of gasses. Then explain that "propane/methane" don't make you talk funny. I know, I lknow, sometimes its hard to even get their attention. Thats why I suggested something funny like helium. Its absolutely harmless. Its just an idea, something to build on.

Andrew is mildly autistic.
It's hard trying to be positive when you're being kicked & punched, and having your eardrums shattered by piercing screams, and being a virtual prisoner in your own home because you daren't take him anywhere...normal? I don't think so....if he was "normal" why do we get stared at by Joe Public whenever we *do* go out? My life has improved dramatically though, since I got my computer I don't feel so isolated, I have made great friends... I hope he will turn out as gifted as you say, but, pardon me, didn't Einstein invent the Atom Bomb? Just a thought....that sounds like something Andrew would do...

Dont listen to me, I dont have kids and i dont know any one who has kids with ADD or ADHD, so dont listen to me. I just thought that looking on the bright side of something may help- Fire extinguisher.
To the Einstein thing, he could figure out the most complex of things but he did not know basic arithmatic. He did not create the atom bomb he thought the concept up. Some other person split the atom, and some other person created the bomb... but enough of being perdantic. I dont know the names of those people but you see where i was getting at?
And to the smiley thing here are some for GB

First you need a handful of people with a real or imagined grievance who act in a manner to achieve publicity. The media report the details focusing unnecessarily on the obvious likelihood of shortages. The populace responds to this is in predictably hysterical fashion by loading their cars to the gunwhales with fuel, carting around 50 litres instead of their usual 10 litres, making the vehicles less efficient because of the extra weight and burning fuel unnecessarily in queues and wasted journeys to find additional supplies. Then everyone moans about the lack of consideration shown by everyone else and when things settle down, It will be months before fuel tanks are allowed to drop below 75% full. There will be £Zillions worth of fuel travelling around - mainly on short journeys to the shops with a maximum usage of 2 litres per trip.
And then there are the folks who will be wandering around with an empty can and a piece of hose pipe ... but that's another story.

Wow. I remeber when this forum only 3 entries. Now it has over 200.that's really amazing.

Gosh GB, I didn't realise Andrew gave you such a hard time. My nephew is all over the walls but he never gets physical. In fact, its only since he turned 9 years that he even permitted himself to be touched or to touch anyone else. You have my sympathy, seriously and honestly.Just for the facts: Einstein theorized about the bomb, Oppenheimer created the A-bomb (fission) but Teller turned it into the much more destructive H-bomb (fusion). Oppenheimer opposed the H-bomb so to say "thank you" the US gov't declared him a communist threat and blacklisted him. Which makes one return to the question: Is there Intelligent Life on Earth (or the USA)? I'm stunned that the USA (my country) is still developing the Space Defense Initiative (Star Wars). Just from whom are we protecting ourselves? Nope! No intelligent life here!

The conversation with tuna sandwich elsewhere has reminded me of true stories, usually told about Americans, similar to the Australian questions, also elsewhere, or maybe here (you know, where people asked about the Viennese boys choir... just a minute, I've found it: thread http://www.h2g2.com/F44250?thread=57762&post=497453 posting No. 25) Anyway, people I know have been asked by Americans: - is it winter or summer in Europe at the moment? - Do you have fridges in Germany? - The best cars you can get here in the US are Mercedes and Porsche, have you heard of them (to a visiting German teacher) - do they really have different money there? These are true. At work we also received a fax from a potential customer full of questions like What is a mark in US dollars? (OK, reasonable enough, but get a load of this:..) How do I convert that into dollars? What is a kilogram? And a whole lot more similar questions. This guy runs an import firm?? I could go on, but I would be branching out into rumours. These gems I can vouch for. If any Americans can counter with similarly silly questions from this side of the Atlantic I would like to hear them

I was once told by an American that "we Brits" have messed up the English language....{groan}

Sometimes I think that "American-English" and "British-English" are two different language.

Er, meant "languages". Sorry, I'm American.

I think I'll frame that last posting. Who ever heard of someone apologising for being American?

Trillian's Child, I have only one good story of a "foreigner" asking an american a dumb question. A friend of mine was visiting Delhi, India, and at dinner his host family served hot coca cola still in the old returnable bottles. When asked if we have such drinks as coca cola in america my friend politely replied that, yes, he believed we did. A polite american: is that an oxymoron? And usually we don't apologise, we simply state our opinions LOUDER. I did have to explain to an irishman what "we are #1" meant on an advert. They thought it was a phone number. Hey, are Rolls Royce really made in the UK? hee hee

Pardon me for breathing, living, and annoying.

You haven't annoyed anyone.

But keep on trying, I do.

Hmm ... would posting 256 fish work?

Well ....
It may be regarded as significant, in this forum, rather than simply annoying.

But I'm just guessing.

Make it 256 lobster and you're on! Anyone who gets annoyed or offended by any posting on h2g2 really doens't belong here. I think part of the definition of "intelligence" is being able to laugh on ones' self (spelling DOESN'T count). I can't even spell my own name: Micheal. Maybe I don't belong! Aghhhhhhhhhh....*blip*

The only things which annoy me in postings are offensive swear words, and personal remarks by "the ex-"
Other than that...

Offensive swear words and obscenities are against the rules, anyway (rule v)

But sticks and stones can break my bones.....

I'm trying to get into the habit of reading my postings before I post them. You'd be surprised how often you forget that! (Especially when you're paying by the minute.)