h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

In the "British English"-thread, it has been "decided" that female beauty can be measured by the "Helen" (milli-Helen, kilo-Helen, even micro-Helen), in honour of Helen of Troy, the "face that launched a thousand ships"� Since then ("British English"-thread at http://www.h2g2.com/F19585?thread=46483, posting 3431), a search has been going on to find a male equivalent. These have already been rejected (for various reasons): - Sean Connery - Adonis - Narcissus - Russell Crowe - Hector - Ajax - Ulysses - Paris - the-one-who-could-sink-a-thousand-pints - Alan Titchmarsh - Willy Wonka - Gilgamesh - Al Bundy However, this quest does not belong in the "British English"-thread. So, please, h2g2-community, help us out�

Personal preferance would be the Jackson (as in Dr. Daniel from Stargate)
He is, lets face it, gorgeous, and has a brain the size of a planet.
*Swoons*
Sho

The problem with the "Jackson" is it can be pisinterpreted (Michael anyone?)

No, it has to be somebody that is mythical, legendary, knwon to everybody, and it has been proposed there has to be a measure of heroics and creativity...

Moreover, e.g. milli-Jackson is too confusing...

The original search for perfection was based on the fact that if Helen (of Troy) had a face which could launch a thousand ships, then one millihelen would be enough beauty to launch just one ship.

Is there anything similar for men?

Yes, but our reasoning (in Britsih English) had been that the 'perfect' male would have to combine such qualities and pedigree that a mere 20th century actor could not aspire to ... something classic and heroic (among other things).

We've had some Greeks (and similar) and a Persian so far ... any others ?

I compiled the list (of rejects) in the first posting.

Then if you want to keep the launching the 1000 ships thing, you'd have to pick someone historical who could "launch" 1000 soldiers or something.

my new recommendation (although from personal preference I will always use a Jackson ) is Hannibal

Look, sorry if this has been said in the other thread but I'm short of time here:

the question is: "how can we measure Male perfection?"

there is only one answer to that: ROFL

"I don't mind how you measure male perfection, so long as its measured metric" - The EU

"I don't mind how you measure male perfection, so long as its measured in pounds and ounces" - An Englishman

"Hannibal" has Lecter-connotations, but what the is ROFL?

Sorry. It is the one and only time I have seen a legitimate use of the Internet Acronym: Rolls On Floor Laughing

Usually I steer away from these (there is a thread about annoying phrases, to which these belong) but I thought in this case it was both appropriate and witty. Something which happens to me but rarely. True to form, it fell flat on its face.
Thanks a bunch

Life, don't talk to me about life!

Sho

I'll interpret that as "a need for a sense of humour" (I agree it's an annoying phrase).
Does the acronym for "Babe In Total Control of Herself" qualify? You must admit a "Helen" sounds a LOT nicer...

(sorry about that acronym, it's atypical of me, I promise. )

You obviously don't need any extra sense of humour. It is just soooooooo overused, I think there is a discussion about it here somewhere (in fact I'm pretty sure there is)

If only a sense of humour was the only criterium...

'There is a general feeling ("it is thought that" - see BritEng post 3310 onwards) in the feminine community that the male of the species is typically one-dimensional, and thus should be pretty easy to measure'

Discuss.

I have learned (NOT the hard way, don't worry) not to contradict the "general feelings" of the "feminine community", and to follow their advice.
But how come we're still searching for it, if it was THAT easy to measure?

If the female community consider male perfection to be one dimensional, and Duncan the Englishman wants it imperial, why not combine the two and measure it in inches? Can you achieve the perfect 6 from all the judges?

I'm sorry to come back to this, but I don't think we should be incorporating intelligence, bravery or the like into this measure.

To be compatible with the 'Helen', we need only to concern ourselves with the man's looks - specifically, his face.

(You can find other measures for judging physique - an Arnie perhap - nobility, chivalry, etc.)

Did we have a 'Paris'?

I proposed a "Paris", but it got rejected as being too "French"...

Paris was, when it came down to it, a big girls' blouse.
How about Hercules? (no no no - now I have this image of Kevin Szorbo, who whilst not ugly puts me off somehow)

And the thing about 6 inches reminds me of the joke, which can only be done visually, so I can't really write it here, which is making everyone wonder why I started this... in fact I'm wondering myself.
Oh heck.