h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I've already been up Scafell Pike once, when I was a kid! easy! Never did get to go up ben nevis though... maybe I should take W on a hiking trip one day

Well, those are your best choices if you want to avoid the floods.

Another option would be to move into a houseboat.

we've got to keep the faith.... anyone seen the leap second recently? I heard someone spotted it near Bradford, bu the siting was not confirmed

I probably went from Brad to Angelina

I think we should move the hill, jus just... just to be safe... just in case...

Which hill?

that is, just it.... I'm not sure which.... maybe we should move them all just to be safe? - I saw a whole gaggle of leap seconds, yesterday, loitering on a street corner, It is but only probably a matter of time now! the underground ferrits are coming....

Aren't ferrets *designed* for tunneling underground?

So as long as they are underground, and you are above ground, there won't be a problem.

but, they're plotting and devising! the ferrits are devising!

I think they'e devising schemes to hunt prairie dogs.

Oh, no... Ferrets have lost those jobs to automation, specifically vacuum trucks.

http://gizmodo.com/this-giant-vacuum-sucks-prairie-dogs-right-out-of-their-1668265973

Poor ferrits.. I hope they were all union members..... unfair dismissal IMO - man the baricades whilst I'm out...

The prairie dogs get a bad rap.

its so sad... A bit like the rabbits do round here... I say the rabbits are not to blame.... I blame the underground newts.. and frogs... and ferrits... natch...

Frogs don't go underground until late Fall, when they hibernate. Salamanders often hide under rocks. Neither frogs nor salamanders are likely to go looking for trouble. It;s more likely that humans invade their wetlands and cause trouble for them.

but these ar ethe alien frogs! the alien ferrits, and the alien newts! we're doomed; they've all snuck through the gap in space time generated by the leap second! thousands and thousands and millions and millions of alien frogs and newts! giant amphebians, set on world domination! we're doomed!

Let's set some standards, though.

Is it the economy version of doom, in which we can still folic in the park, drink coffee or tea twice a day, and go shopping in whatever stores the aliens allow us to patronize?

If it the business class version, in which the aliens require us to register for park frolics, supply us with coffee or tea [at exorbitant prices], and run all the stores so we can't buy any weapons with which to resist them?

The first class version of doom would have no parks, the only beverage would be the purple cool-aid, and we would be allowed out of our dungeons one hour a day for basket-weaving.