h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

{Clear the Isle of Wight of Zombies}

What do you mean *If* there's a Zombie apocalypse?

We might be invaded from Mars first.

The chances of anything coming from Mars are a million to one, and according to Terry Pratchett, million to one chances occur nine times out of ten.

<BB<

ting-
twinkies
hostess powdered mini donuts
chocolate bars with almonds (almonds are good for you)
a-ling

I'd stay at home.

We grow vegetables in our yard, there's a spring in the nearby park, and I can make my own beer and wine.

Obviously I'd have to give up tea.

Do you grow cabagges?

Can I come visit you when I get infected?

Bluebottle can punt me across the Channel with a cabbage for my lunch, leaving the non vegetarian zombie in Calais.

Hopefully by the time the apocalypse (zombie or otherwise) occurs I'll be running my own commune on my own land somewhere, in which case you'd be more than welcome

HooToo Country! Yay!

Terry Pratchett doesn't count. Zombies already live [?] peaceably in Discworld. It's Planet Earth where they haven't been able to assimilate.

It's the classic image of flesh hanging off Zombies that makes this story so scary.

http://www.extremetech.com/extreme/135207-harvard-creates-cyborg-flesh-thats-half-man-half-machine

The cyborg-zombies are coming!


~jwf~

I'd take on SWL with a good solid club and some harsh language.

Don't get me wrong, I like a bit of cabbage, but in the event of zombie apocalypse and imminent brain munching, I'd quite like some booze, a big gun and sufficient loo roll over fresh veg!

What happens when the time for the apocalypse comes, and the zombies are delayed in traffic?

Tough luck for the traffic.

Nipping back to the original post, which actually doesn't mention brain munching cubicle workers...

The general problem is that as a society we're too reliant on society. Very few people know how to grow food themselves. Even fewer know how to butcher, and fewer still know how to hunt and trap. So they'd be reliant on scavenging for the time it took to learn these skills, which would also be dependent on the apocalyptic disaster leaving the earth and animals to provide food.

And it's not just food, there's clothing and shelter too. How many people know how to sew or knit? Quite a few. But how many know how to produce thread, wool or needles? A lot less.

As for shelter, while quite a few people are able to build houses and walls, how many know how to make bricks or mortar?

We really are a society of consumers at every level, and that is what will cause issues. Unless the Brain Munchers(tm) get us first

That reminds me of the thread about time travel and what good would our skills be if we suddenly found ourselves in the Middle Ages. Once again it is being proved that we are a rather useless bunch, we denizens of the 21st Century.

Oh dear.

I'm kinda lucky that I've always had an interest in how people did things before modern civilisation, and I do try to be as self sufficient as I can. But even I'd struggle I think, I get a blister just mowing the lawn

I think that most threats of this kind require a specific kind of response. My plan is to wait for the government of the day to announce the official countermeasures and then to do something different.

as a potter i do indeed know how to make bricks its quite easy really...
I can also grind wheat into flour (although its a lot of work) and bake
I think we might be reliant on Pastey to make our drinks...

I'm self-sufficient in celery