h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Am I a bad person...?

I've became single early this year. I am, therefore, for the first time in some years, not going out in fancy dress with some children to accompany them trick or treating. Halloween will be spent alone in my home, likely being trick or treated by many groups of local kids.

It has occurred to me to get a suitable blond wig, tinted circular glasses, a big cigar and a brightly coloured tracksuit and greet callers with a cheery "Now then, now then", just to see the looks of horror on the faces of the accompanying parents at the sheer inappropriateness, and the bafflement on the faces of the no doubt oblivious children.

Am I a bad person?

I became. I've become. One or the other, pick one.

Yes! very bad..... But in a very good way You probably shouldn't do it... which means, you probably should*

*shudders at the thought of Hoo's Halloween guise*

Jimmy Savile used to make me shudder anyway.

You could do what I do - I just switch the doorbell off. Doesn't stop them squirting ketchup on the door or festooning the garden fence with loopaper, but it means I still get peace quiet and get to eat the chocolates myself..

I think it would be a very bad thing to do because the gist of the whole caper would be about something very sad, very damaging, and actually horrifying. Nowadays, I cannot imagine taking kids out to trick or treat for a number of reasons*. But those reasons aside, if the parents knew you then it would be understandable why you might be tempted but you shouldn't do it even then because it would cast such a darkness on what could be a fun night. The main thing is that abuse of children is not funny.

*Most candy or treats given out at hallowe'en are unhealthy. Trick or treating at strangers' houses is unsafe.

Kids in our hamlet get loads, because the base of the hamlet is low down and you have to walk up to every house - our house is quite far away, so it rewards effort

When did this "trick or treat" nonsense take hold anyway? The kids should be out guising, performing a wee song or a dance in return for sweeties. "Trick or treat" smacks of extortion with menaces

I think it gradually crept over here, across the Atlantic

I never answer the door... But then again, most years, no one trys this house, I guess it just looks too creapy from the outside just of the normal run of the mill I keep asking the council to remove the dead down-and-outs, but they don't seem to bother...

We have a now four year old in the cousin who is scared to come to our house since his siblings convinced him there was a dragon in our cellar - and apparently he fears that we will let it out at Halloween

If we are still alive, I am hoping that unorganic, unwholesome food will be unacceptable, considered a waste of energy and resources, and abusive to children. I am not saying cake will be out, just cake made with unhealthy ingredients.

But cake made with wholesome ingredients is effectively brown bread, ie, not cake.

Hoo - I'll go on the bad persons list, cos I find the idea funny. But I suspect you're right about how people would react, so probably you shouldn't do it.

We're away for Halloween this year, so we'll be missing out on the fun. It's one my favourite village events of the year I usually dress up as a rather sexy witch, for the benefit of the dads.

Real schoolgirls nowadays don't wear short skirts, stockings, or pigtails. And relatively few wear shirts and ties. It's all polo shirts, hoodies and trousers.

Mol

That is true - schoolgirls these days are nowhere near as sexy looking as they were when I was fourteen... to the point that frankly half the time it's a job to tell the males from the females at kicking out time at the school I was a governor at.

Trick or treating is
- charming when it's four year olds dressed as pumpkins
- amusing when it's eight year olds dressed as skeletons
- OK when it's twelve year olds done up as vampires
- starting to be a bit worrying when it's teenagers, especially if it's boys dressed as horror film characters like Jason Voorhees or Freddy Krueger (seriously, how do fourteen year olds even know who those characters are?) or underage girls dressed a "sexy" [fill in costume type here].

Round our way there's a straightforward code: pumpkin in window or other lights or halloween style decorations - step up, there's sweets inside. No pumpkin/lights/decorations - no door knock. It works pretty well.

While I realise that uniforms have changed (we had to kneel down and the hem was to be no more than an inch off the floor - straight back - no cheating!), I have visited my old school within the last 2 years and the sixth formers were all wearing black trouser suits with white blouses.

But black trouser suits with white blouses still isn't short skirts/stockings/pigtails.

Our halloween code is pretty much like yours, Hoo. The older kids take over the job of staying at home (usually dressed up) and dishing out the sweets.

Mol

You can call me TC


Schoolgirl being made to kneel down in front of a teacher...sounds very dodgy....

Not the teacher - it was in the shop, with mother and female shop assistant looking on. Girls with nail vanish had to go visit the chemistry teacher with his bottle of acetone, though. But I suspect that he was gay.

We had to kneel down in front of the teacher once a month. Most of the girls rolled their skirts up I think, then rolled them down for inspections.

I am seeing more and more people with cycle helmets on. People on bikes, that is, not just walking along the road. Like with seat belts, it will probably feel very strange not to be wearing them in 50 years time.

If people still ride bikes by then.

No doubt there will be some equivalent for pedestrians, too, provided people still actually walk anywhere....

The way things are going - slapping, grabbing, shouting at, giving instructions to or in any way attempting to affect the unacceptable behaviour of children, whether someone else's or your own. Parents who impose *any* kind of discipline on their children or ever refuse them anything for any reason will come to be regularly compared to Nazis or similar.

>> I'm seeing more and more people with cycle helmets on.

I'm becoming more and more aware of injuries that cyclists are getting, other than to the head. Perhaps we'll see more extensive protection for cyclists in the future.