h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

How did they make something as simple as porridge so complicated?

Why do they have people like poor Galaxy Babe at the end of their wits pouring 180ml of milk into wee footery plastic pockets?

And lastly, how do they have the cheek to call it simple?

'Advertise it and they will buy it'

I almost had to burn my birth certificate and passport, as a gesture of relenquishing my small unconfirmed membership of the human-race, the first time I found the 'prepared food' isle on the online supermarket....

It was the pre-grated cheese which really got me. I mean, really* really* got me. I mean, its cheese, right, OK, fine so far, and then, and this is the tricky bit, they've grated it 'for you', to err... I don't know... but they have grated it...

Progress?; Take your progress and stick it under a rock

I really wonder how hard it is to make porridge. I used to use a microwave sometimes (easier to clean the container) but it's even easier stirring a pot on the stove, and you can control how thick you have your porridge.

I tried an instant one once, but it was too sugary and disgusting (just add water type of thing)

But I'm glad we've been talking porridge here, because I'm having some for my breakfast tomorrow.

I have of late, but whyfore I know not,
become a regular eater of oats. Not just
as a breakfast but a desert and a snack.

Large flake oats in deep microwavable bowl.
Add enough water to cover. Stir.
Microwave until the flakes begin to swell over the edge.
Re-program the microwave to run at about 40% so
that it is on 40% and off 60% to ensure the oats
swell and then fall back before overpouring the rim.

Another couple of minutes of this and you can see it
firming up nicely on the edges and still a bit wet and
runny in the middle.

Remove, add raisins, brown sugar, cinnamon and milk.
Enjoy!


~jwf~

PS: Another recent microwave discovery is a way to use
up leftover take-away Chinese fried rice by stirring in
a raw egg (or two) until it's well coated and then nuke
for about 30-50 seconds. Some of the egg will be poached
and clumped with the rice but stir it up with some of the
runny bits. Voila! Egg-drop, Foo-yung rice!
Add soya and pepper to taste.

Can I just clarify that my normal breakfast is Weetabix. No sugar, just semi-skim milk. Cold in the summer, zapped in the microwave on colder mornings for tummy warming.

However since I have been diagnosed with a narrowed artery, I've been ordered to take things easy while I await angioplasty procedure and there's no-one to pamper me, cook for me, or do the washing-up after I have cooked. So I was looking for something simple with hardly any washing-up except the bowl & spoon so I could quickly go sit down again after all the exertion of making my own breakfast.

Awww... I didn't know that GB I would offer to be ther and cook for you... But I don't really do that* much healthy cooking

Maybe ordinary oats, in a microwavable bowl would work? add in the milk, and if the bowl was plastic you could probably eat out of it too... providing it doesn't get too hot... hmmm... actulaly I kinda like that idea myself, less washing up to do

Bless you 2legs

Or readybrek. That's microwavable and measurable by eye (and spoon). Fabulous stuff when I have two hungry under 5s clutching me round the knees when I am trying to get breakfast, but want something warm.

~jwf~, thankyou for your tip about setting the microwave 60/40. I'd never thought of that before! My porridge is currently cooking as I type.

>>It was the pre-grated cheese which really got me.../

What about packets of "batter mix," which conveniently only require you to add an egg and water. Except that with batter made from scratch, you'd merely add an egg and milk anyway, so the only saved effort I can see is that they've already put salt in it.


Disclaimer: I realise that maybe some people don't want to buy a big packet of flour which they might never use, and so a batter mix is handier, and possibly grated cheese is useful for elderly people who are unable to grate their own cheese; but we all know the majority of customers aren't going to have such excuses, don't we?

*hand up* I buy pre-grated cheese. Partly because, for some unknown reasons, it's usually cheaper than the equivalent weight block, and partly because we almost always grate our cheese before using it (basically cheese sauces or on top of a finished dish). Yes, it's lazy, but it means you only use the quantity you need rather than guessing, and saves time and washing up.

Were it just me I'd probably buy normal cheese, but with both of us it really is something I'm prepared to pay a little extra for.

if you grate it off the block directly onto your dish, you use exactly the amount you need

Thanks to this thread I had porridge today for breakfast (half and half soft and steel cut oats, half and half milk and water - nothing else) and ordered a spurtle from an online bookstore.

My Father insists* on using pre-made 'dumpling mix', which as far as I can tell, saves absolutely no time whatsoever, no money, and doesn't make as good a dumpling as doing it by hand Even if your not making them oftne, a small pack of suet (250 G), keeps, and doesn't exactly take up much space, and you can buy small 500 G bags of flour

I'm sure I saw pre-mashed mash potatos Mind, I always consider myself a lazy cook these days, as I no longer make my own pasta If I had the space I'd seriously consider making my own salami, I think that would be fun
May have to cheat today, and buy some Pierogi, but as I've never had it before, I can try it, ready-made, then maybe think about making my own at some point

My breakfast routine:

Put the kettle on.
Take a cup and two bowls out of the cupboard, and the milk from the fridge.
Empty one sachet of OSS into one of the bowls.
Fill sachet with milk and pour into bowl.
Set microwave for 2:29 (http://xkcd.com/1103/).
Put teabag and sugar into cup.
Put sachet in bin.
Kettle will now be boiled, pour water into cup.
Get rum-soaked raisins out of cupboard, add two teaspoons to other bowl.
Tea will now be brewed, squeeze out bag, add milk and replace milk in fridge.
OSS will now be ready, remove from microwave and decant into cool bowl.
Fill hot bowl with water.

Enjoy.

Fill second bowl and cup with water and leave in sink all day before putting in dishwasher on return from work.

In this routine there's barely a second wasted, it fits together like a well oiled machine. Making porridge in a bowl would require me to stand and stir, which would cost time that I could spend preparing the tea. This routine can easily save me seventy or eighty seconds PER DAY!

OSS is the business.

Microwavable frozen mashed potato. That's the thing that makes me despair for the Human race.

I was, until reading that post, blissfully unaware such a thing even existed. The horror, oh the horror.

Smash (that dried mashed potato you add boiling water to) was my Mum's holiday thing. For various reasons we almost always did self catering holidays but my Mother, who otherwise is really a from scratch kind of cook, rebelled at the thought of spending her holiday cooking and so we would always load up the car with lots of smash and frey bentos pies.

Thing is smash and frey bentos pies have now become this sort of Yay We're On Holiday kind of thing, and I won;t hear a word against them. In the right place, of course, which this year was a rainswept holiday cottage in North Wales.

I get the pre-grated cheese on occasion. The only thing is it is usually coated with flour or potato starch to prevent it caking or clumping together. This can give it a bit of a grainy texture when used for some things.

Hoo - that breakfast routine sounds very well organised, but it also sounds like it produces quite a lot of washing up...!

It produces no more washing up than would using a saucepan - one container to heat it in and one container to eat it from. It's superior to using a saucepan because while I've only got one small saucepan (and would hence have to wash it every day) I've got TEN entirely interchangeable bowls, so I only have to run the dishwasher once a week.