h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

the revolution will not be yesterday, or today, but always tommorrow... damnit I could really do with a pie about now too

The revolution will not be deli pies.

Meat and tatty... chicken and mushroom... cornish pasty, steak, mutton and tatty... damnit I'm hungry now mmmm... my Aunts 'game pies' You look at it... take a bite and for a few seconds you think you can actually eat a reasonably big slice... then you notice just how* rich it is mmmmm... not made sausage rolls in ages, I've probably just about got all the ingrediants for that... its almost* a pie innit...

Careful with the sausage rolls, now. If a pie is cylindrical it's subject to pole tax!

Sausage rolls don't have to be roll shaped... rolls come to think of it don't either (as some of my experimental triangular multigrain rolls, and square rolls contest)... and, I've never found the energy to spend time making pizzas round... they're so much easier to just make square The mobious strip baguettes were a bit of a let down though...

Tart!

Yes? you called?

I noticed the Tories aren't taxing quiche - could this be a sign of Lib Dem influence

It took Newsnight 24 minutes to get onto pasties tonight.

Mol

They need a new microwave

What if you buy a cold pie... and kind of accidentially warm it p before leaving the shop, do you then have to pay VAT? what about pies sold in fish N chip shops? or hmmm... This could be the pie that brings the government down.... one move too far

This is the problem that they've created problems solving. Pies heated up in a chippie were standard rated. Pies baked in a bakery were zero rated. Now bakery pies will be standard rated...until the cool down.

But more importantly...how in the name of holy feck do you heat up a pie accidentally?

Easily... go into shop... buy unheated, zero rated pie, and heated food item, say a bag of chips... put pie in bag near chips... ooops, the pies gone all VAT!

Will peas be zero rated, but mushy peas rated?

How about spices?

Does chilli constitute "heat" for the purposes of VAT?

In that linky thing it says that condiments don't count if you don't normally charge for them. So I guess Greggs could sell cold pies and offer customers the choice of dousing them in chilli.

Although I can't say that sounds appealing.

Mushy peas are zero rated if you can convince the Excise that they're guacamole.

I've found the loophole.

Start an internet mail order pie business in Guernsey. Heat the pies up and ship them in insulated containers.

genious! we're saved from the p pie tax!