h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Directness is only advisable if A) you're sure the question won't affect whatever relationship already exists, and ii) you're completely okay with the possibility that the answer might be "I only like you as a friend".

What I'd like to say is firstly be careful with numbering schemes and B....

I was only being facetious

Although, as they say, whatever works.

It's all in the eyes

They dilate when talking to someone they fancy...

... Others will notice the flirtatious body language more than the couple involved

*hic*


*follows Icky around the room*

Z- it's possible people are flirting with you and you don't realise.

My problem is more that I'm trying to make friends and keep inadvertently ending up in flirtatious situations.

So I was in the pub with a group of people and was talking to someone; my topic was 'how we should have a benevolent dictatorship run along the philosophical lines outlined by Fishkin and Gramsci'...not something I felt was overly intimate.

The conversation rolled into films and the Ides of March...and the fact I'd like to see it. Someone else said they'd also like to see it and I gave them my number.

When I got home they had sent me a text making it very clear that they thought this was a date.

This sort of thing happens to me a lot. Often I don't realise until the other person actually moves in for the kiss.

If I go round asking people if they are flirting I'm even less likely to meet new friends!

Hmm. I know somebody who a) has enormous pupils and ii) maintains a lot of eye contact.

Tooooooooo risky!

Okay, what's your secret? That kind of thing never happens to me.

(that one was for Storm)

"Oh noes good things keep happening to me, whatever should I do"

You reply back and make it clear it isn't a date. That's not hard to work out is it?

It's not a good thing. I'm trying to meet new friends.

And of course I know that what I should do now is reply saying no... but it will then be awkward and hard to become friends.

'You had me at Gramsci...'















(can't see him as advocating a benevolent dictatorship, mind. )

Z- it wasn't me that was flirting with you it was Jen....

Thanks Storm...

#firstworldproblems

Too much sex.

"It's not a good thing. I'm trying to meet new friends."

They *are* new friends.
potential partners/potential friends are not mutually exclusive categories.

"but it will then be awkward and hard to become friends."
No, it will be awkward and hard to become friends if you don't do it. OK, I mean, if you said "Ugh, no WAY, what are you thinking?" then yeah, it might be. But then I'm guessing you've worked out that isn't the right thing to say?

Agree with ictoan, better say it (politely but firmly), rather than maintaining ambiguity until things go too far and snap.

http://carriejenkins.co.uk/Documents/FlirtingFinal.pdf

Wholly relevant, though not guaranteed to be of practical help...

That piece is rather funny.

Edward -I don't think Fishkin would be keen either- the plan was for Greek style deliberative democracy in which I would force everyone to debate until they agreed with Gramsci...At gunpoint if necessary.