h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

touch wood, kiss the blaney stone , black cat cross my path , shamrock

Better to be lucky than smart.

' Nothing ventured nothing gained '

On observing a bandy-legged man, he said "he couldnt stop a pig in an alleyway"

whilst regarding a shapely woman's rear end:
"like two plums in a hankie"

<>

I must be tired, I initially read that as "a sheep's wonderful rear end".

whilst regarding a shapely woman's rear end: Two ferrets having a fight in a sack.

"Look what the cat dragged in and spat out"

'Bottoms Up'

"The wise speak because they have something to say, the foolish speak because they have to say something."

'Take your head out of the sand'

'Wake up and smell the roses '

Better to keep your mouth shut and have people think you a fool than to open it and remove all doubt.

Feeling like something the cat dug up - twice.

'At the end of the day'

"Even a one ee'd man with a wooden leg could see that". - A curious one from Fife used when someone states the bl**din obvious.

Go boil your head

Go stick your head in a pig!

A stitch in time saves 9

As my granny used to say:

"You'd give a darkie a red neck"

No offence to any black people, honest!

Life is not a bed of roses

g*d d*mn I'm getting old... I think now about an 18-30 trip with pished-up lobster-looking football hooligans, alcohol poisoning and E-Coil burgers for breakfast... no thank you! **bleugh**

So spoken in an email yesterday by my daughter, at the grand old age of 25.