h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

'Thick as two short planks'

Dumb as a post

Sharp as mashed potato

Dumb as asphalt

Stubbon as a mule

She had teeth like she could eat an apple through a letterbox!

"If life gives you a bowl of lemons, go find an annoying guy with paper cuts"

as mad as ten toads!

'May your next s***e be a hedgehog'

"Take it easy, if it's easy, take it twice"

"Thick as two short planks"

I was wondering when that one was going to come up!

As thick as pig

"Chuck your boyfriend, have a sandwich."

Courtesy of Spaced.

'He's so mean, he could peel an orange in his pocket'

Said of a modern dance troupe: 'Flapping about like a dying duck in a thunderstorm'.

In one ear and out the other

"As appetising as a s**t sandwich with no mayo."

Can't remember where I heard that, it was in a magazine I think.

Coined by a working colleague

"Werl... that went down like a cup of cold sick"

"He should be tied to the back end of a cow and sh!t to death!"



Lx

That's dead cultured that is... down our way it's a bucket of cold sick.

I suppose his excuse was he was a Londoner.... I think he'd be quite offended to be thought of as cultured

Ahhh, so he's a southern jesse... that explains it.