h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Some of these poems were even published in last week's : A47562870

The fame!

I should like to thank the academy.....

Sic transit gloria mundi

Not even a nomination for poetaster like me?

a nomination for the worst verses written by a foreing user of English Language should be present for next contest?

What a great idea!

Let's have a writing contest for foreign writers of English.

There are plenty of you on hootoo.

A competition? Good grief, no!
All our mistakes would be on show.
Who'd want to judge it anyway?
Would everybody have their say?
And where to host it - here on 'Ask'?
Would it be a simple task?
Lots of questions, as you see
Still interested, dmitri g?

You get Rich in on it, and I'll help...I'm an old ESL teacher.

Old ESL teachers never die, they just keep saying, 'No, you don't become a steak, Hans, you order one...'

Doesn't need to be a competition.

Could be a showcase, with entrance limited to non-native writers of the English language...

And no, KB, you don't count... That's English over there.

Sort of.

Tell you what: you go over to the brand new forum here and suggest it:


U13843117

No competition please! at least for me.

I´ll be defeated.

I only can cherrypick words whose meaning or effect in your ears I´m not too sure to know.

I´ll be happy enough if this thread goes on.

I will be right over there.

And of course, let's keep talking here.

And no, a few mistakes are not a hindrance to communication...

I have taught languages. I always say, 'If you make a mistake, make a funny one.'

When I didn't know German very well, I once told somebody, 'I live at such-and-such a place. But next week, I'm going to change my clothes.'

When they stopped laughing, they told me what I said wrong.

A missionary I know went to Ecuador and led a prayer. 'Dear God, forgive us our fish...'

Your clothes? I'm just trying to figure out what you said in German, or rather, what you intended to say.

I intended to say, 'I'm moving house.'

I said: 'I'm changing clothes.'

Here you are, you evil person: F12710104?thread=6352516

Run it up the flagpole, see if anybody salutes.

"And no, KB, you don't count... That's English over there."

If I give you my phone number you might change your mind about that.

I get you.

Evil person? Me?

I think I count as a native speaker. Phooey

I'm an honorary native speaker of English.

That's a good question. How many years do you need to live somewhere for it to count?

As "native" means where you were born, I would never consider myself to be a native speaker of German. Even though I lived only 19 years in England and have now lived 32 years in Germany, no one could ever call me a "native" German.

I spent more time in American schools than German ones, so my spelling and grammar are better in English (AE, anyway) than in German

Sic transit gloria mundi
-Gloria was sick on the bus on a Monday
Sic trainset Philippa Chewsdy
Her sister was sick on a train on a Tuesday
Sic Firstteamcoach Alex Ferguson Wednesday
Fergie was sick on the coach the next Wednesday
Sic rumbly Underground Becks ona Thursday
Beckham was sick on the Tube on a Thursday
And they all run so wrong! It puts me in a rage!
So in spite of the cost, I suppose we all live in a cab age!
As long as you don't wanta
Go South of the river
- Unless - what's worse
We travel in a hearse
Dead or half there from last night's escapade



(Don't blame me - I was sent here by Taff)

Jabs