h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

When I was pre-teen and a teenager I alwasys said never. I was assured that you can never say never, which I took to be good sense and wisdom. I then amended that the partner was more important than the children (i.e. look for the right life partner, not a dad for your kids) and that if i'm going to have children it will be before I'm 35. once I hit that age, I will be childless and my mind will have been made up for me.

Why 35? Currently in my immediate circle of mummy friends there are a number that had their first child in their late thirties or early forties. Some didn't meet the right person until later and some just didn't get around to it when they were younger. Others found it took them a long time to conceive.

Taff, just because someone doesn't (can't, won't, doesn't get an opportunity, whatever) produce offspring doesn't mean they don't contribute to society in other ways that may facilitate the continuation of the species. You can look to the animal kingdom here if you like, to species which live as large extended family groups where only the highest ranking males or females get to breed and the rest help with foraging, protection of the group etc etc. To suggest that humankind could be in trouble because a few people don't reproduce is silly.

I was applying logic to biology. Some of my friends had older parents and I decided I wanted to be younger when I had children of around ten or eleven than some of my friends had (a few lost their parents far too early for my liking, or had rather ill parents through age-related illnesses). 35 seemed like a reasonable age as I honestly dont know whether or not I want children. If I have a cut-off point after which I no longer have to decide, then I dont have to not know much sooner than if I had to wait until the menopause (with any luck!)

I also picked an age at which it is agreed that pregnancy becomes riskier, especially for a first timer.

Of course, now most of my friends are getting settled and having children and there's no such end in sight for me and I'm very aware of *only* having nine years left, but I still want to be sure of my partner (if I have one) before bringing a child into the world, as if I pick the wrong person, I'd need to at least try and continue having contact with them. Currently, I can forgive and forget!

That's not to say I think I'll find someone and can guarantee we'll be together forever, but I'd like to be fairly sure they arent guaranteed to be a flash in the pan!

*Winces at the name "Groinhammer" and wonders who's behind it.*

I do realise that what I said in Post 32 would upset some people and I would never argue with anyone who said they had decided not to have children. It is entirely their decision. However, much of what has been said in the other posts has illustrated my point. I rest my case.

I hope we will be able to keep this thread going until Toybox and Bouncy are grandparents! Given that they reach consensus with their partners...

So you choose to totally disregard what a lot of child-free by choice women say about themselves? Well, I'm sure you know their feelings better than they do

Dr Lilli - you have no case to rest. Why on earth can you just not accept that some people.. many people, either don't like or don't want children... ever?
Why is this so hard a concept for you to grasp- just because it seems the most natural thing in the world to you doesn't mean everyone who holds the oppossing view is kidding themselves. Jeese woman, get a grip, smell the coffee, etc.

>It is surely a human instinct to have children - an animal instinct even. People who say they don't want children are suppressing this natural instinct. Which leads to the conclusion : either they're kidding themselves or they do really have an extremely good reason (their own health, for example).
< post 32 Dr Lilli

Simple minded Daily Mail cr@p.

I'd like some hard environmental genetics to back up this statement. For example how does 'kin selection' fit in with this statement?

Has this person actually studied any hard science?

Could you start off by explaining what you mean by 'instinct' in this context...?

I would argue that the natural instict is to have sex. Which in a world with contraception led quite naturally to having children.

I don't know many people who could do without sex, but plenty who could do without children.