h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Hi Sorrel,

Let me throw a monkey into th works before venture into answering your questions. Girls mature emotionally earlier than boys. So they are often ready to experiment sexually before boys their same age are. Does that change your questions at all?

As for protecting boys and girls from under age sex, I don’t think there is much we can do to protect them from each other. Best we can do is be honest with them about he consequences of sex, emotionally and physically, and encourage them to make the right decision. I think that decision includes making the choice to use those condoms you mentioned.

I’d like to say that I don’t think girls deserve more protection then boys, but then I realized that there is a definite double standard when it comes to boys and girls and I’m a victim of it. Maybe it’s just instinct to want to protect girls, and to shove a boy out the door with a pat on the shoulder and a good luck.

But all in all, I don’t think we can offer girls any more protections then we can boys. Short of putting them in to a chastity belt.

As for protecting them from the adults that would take advantage of them, I think that was mentioned earlier. Jazzhag hit the nail on the head in the postscript

Bludrake

Bludrake, I understand why you ask this...

'Let me throw a monkey into th works before venture into answering your questions. Girls mature emotionally earlier than boys. So they are often ready to experiment sexually before boys their same age are. Does that change your questions at all?'

I'm sorry but I can't answer, I havn't a clue. Everything is coloured by my early experiences and I just can't get my head around the idea of being able to have made my own choice, its not something I had any experience of as a kid.

>>'Let me throw a monkey into th works before venture into answering your questions. Girls mature emotionally earlier than boys. So they are often ready to experiment sexually before boys their same age are. Does that change your questions at all?'<<

An alternate way of looking at this: Both boys and girls start being interested in sex at approximately the same time. However, girls' secondary sexual characteristics are more obvious at this earlier stage than boys' (i.e. they have obvious hips and breasts) meaning that the display signs of sexual maturity that attract potential 'mates' to them are present earlier. This causes girls to be "sexually attractive" (and I mean this in an evolutionary biology sense - not "I'm attracted to underage girls"!) before boys of an equivalent age. Hence, both boys and girls of the same age "want it" but only girls can "get it". This doesn't make them any more emotionally mature and able to handle the consequences of an intimate relationship. In fact, how many young girls end up screwing some complete waster just because he's a bit older or "in the football team" - I remember otherwise fairly normal girls at school who dated total chavs - so let's not confuse biologically programmed characteristics with emotional maturity!

Hi intelligent moose.

Thanks for the input. Maybe I am confusing physical maturity with emotional maturity. I’ve just always been told by health teachers and ex’s that women mature earlier than men and that is why the always end up dating older boys in school. As for girls ending up dating,”total chavs,” I don’t think that changes much with age. Several of my single female friends ranging from their late 20's to their early 40's constantly lament about all the men they date being jerks, but the continue to go back to the same type of guy.

But I’ve digressed from my original topic, so I’ll just say cheers.

Bludrake

"Both boys and girls start being interested in sex at approximately the same time.

Yes about three years old. Long before any secondary sexual characteristics become apparent.

"girls' secondary sexual characteristics are more obvious at this earlier stage than boys' (i.e. they have obvious hips and breasts) meaning that the display signs of sexual maturity that attract potential 'mates' to them are present earlier. This causes girls to be "sexually attractive" (and I mean this in an evolutionary biology sense - not "I'm attracted to underage girls"!) before boys of an equivalent age.Hence, both boys and girls of the same age "want it" but only girls can "get it".

Speak for yourself moose.

I lost my virginity at age 12 to a girl a yaer and a day older than I. Moreover having had several *liasons* with other teenage girls and going through the mental changes brought on by hormnal triggers while surrounded by teenage gilrs at school Im still imprinted with an attraction to girls of that age.

But it is just that an attraction I have the self control to observe the law.


"This doesn't make them any more emotionally mature and able to handle the consequences of an intimate relationship.

Well spotted, and the same goes for us guys too, but who decides when someone is ready for adult sexual relationships? A few of my ex's seem to think Im STILL not ready for them. A lot of them dont leave me in any doubt, they just come right out and say it.

As we all (I hope) know the law is the guide for who is and who should not be allowed to ride the sex rollacoaster. Its not a perfect system but it is better than the alternative.


"In fact, how many young girls end up screwing some complete waster just because he's a bit older or "in the football team"[?]

From my own personal experience I have to say a few but not enough

"I remember otherwise fairly normal girls at school who dated total chavs

I prseume you dont consider yourself a chav - or do you

Were you on the team?

Did you suffer the pangs of unrequited love or lust while "otherwise normal girls" you fancied CHOSE to screw some complete waster just because he's a bit older or "in the football team"?

Are you also suggesting that only *abnormal* young girls will fancy guys like me while as you put it "normal girls" will go for guys who odnt wear burberry check caps who cant kick a straight?


"so let's not confuse biologically programmed characteristics with emotional maturity!

Quite right moose but maybe we should also avoid bringing jealousy inspired moral finger wagging into the debate

one love

>>I lost my virginity at age 12 to a girl a yaer and a day older than I.

Um... congratulations! Or commiserations (depending on whether you enjoyed it or not).

>>Did you suffer the pangs of unrequited love or lust while "otherwise normal girls" you fancied CHOSE to screw some complete waster just because he's a bit older or "in the football team"?

Nope. But I do remember noticing at school that the girls tended to be so proud of their "increased emotional maturity" while their behaviour showed an absence of emotional maturity (the equivalent of going "nyah nyah I'm more mature than you!" - paradoxical). My point is that girls being more mature than boys is a myth - I'm not particularly interested in what you got up to at high school but on a population-wide level, in the anglicised western world, I suspect that girls enter into sexual relationships earlier than boys because of the aforementioned reasons, not because they are any more emotionally equipped than boys of the same age.

>>Are you also suggesting that only *abnormal* young girls will fancy guys like me while as you put it "normal girls" will go for guys who odnt wear burberry check caps who cant kick a straight?

Not at all - I'm suggesting that people who are otherwise developmentally normal will enter into intimate relationships, based on superficial judgements, with people that perhaps they wouldn't if they had their own emotional welfare in mind - and regardless of whether you do this now or you know large numbers of people who do this now I would argue that it isn't "emotionally mature" behaviour.

>>Quite right moose but maybe we should also avoid bringing jealousy inspired moral finger wagging into the debate

Jealousy has nothing to do with it nor am I wagging the finger. I'm just interested in putting forward a different view to the constantly repeated "girls mature earlier than boys" argument. If I used some emotive language it was just to make a point. I stand by my view as I believe it's backed up by observation - but feel free to differ.

Speaking of morals, Indonesia wants to pass a law that will mean you can get up to 10 years in jail for kissing in the street. And jail time as well for living together without being married. What a wonderful world.

Maybe I’m misunderstanding what you’re trying to say here Blicky, but from what you’ve written, you’re saying that you are sexually attracted to 13 year old girls and if it weren’t for those pesky little laws, you would act upon that attraction. If I’m mistaken, I’m sorry, but personally some where around 16 or 17, 13 year olds just started to look like children. As a matter of fact, I’m pretty sure they are. But that’s just my opinion and I’m not making any moral judgements, just observations.

Lets not forget that the police can enter and search any house were they suspect two people are living together unwed. I’m glad I don’t live in Indonesia.

"I’m sorry, but personally some where around 16 or 17, 13 year olds just started to look like children. As a matter of fact, I’m pretty sure they are. But that’s just my opinion and I’m not making any moral judgements, just observations.



What you are saying lends extra weight to my overall point about this whole youngsters and sex business.

You cant put your finger on when 13 year olds "started to look like children" to you. They did not become suddenly unattractive or repelent. There was from what you say an ambiguity in what you felt for some time.

Just like there is a contradiction between my feelings and my actions.

My steering clear of teenagers is not down to the law alone. Ive avoided all teenagers for some time and Im beginging to feel like some women in their early 20s are a bit immmature for my tastes but they are still .

I work with 11 year old girls who could pass for 16 WITHOUT makeup or fancy clothes. Boys by the time they get their growth spurt can look way older than they actually are. Being 6 feet tall and preety broad I always got served in any pub I went into from age 14.

You cant judge maturity easily. Nor can you judge normalness unless you are Moose

In this sense the best way of dealing with things is to have and obserrve an across the board arbitary age limit for certain things, but not assume that children will observe it and take drugs, sex, alcohol, driving and whatever else advice to them because *normal* or not some of them will have the urge to explore these things before *we think* they are ready.

one love

Sometimes seems that it wouldn't be a bad idea over here either! - For goodness sake sometimes I just want to do my shopping not have to witness people gobbling each other's tonsils or dodge those who seem to be umbillically attached - can't they get a room? No consideration some people. Am I getting old or what!

Don't think anyone believe that people are completely innocent until the age of consent, anyone who has any sexual honesty has to admit that it is an ongoing adventure of discovery, from the 'I'll show you mine if you'll show me yours' to practising french kissing (initially on the hand!), etc, etc. All very normal as part of the learning process with one's peer group. I know the police certainly wouldn't be interested in the case of a 16 year old boy and 15 year old girl for example.

I suppose the good thing about having an arbitrary age of consent is that it gives some protection to children who are not 'ready' and to those who may be 'ready' but may be pressurised by those in authority - adults, teachers, etc. If it was abolished or lowered then very young children would be put at risk.

Nicely said, both blicky and jazzhag.


az

If anything the increased coverage could be taken as a sign of society getting more moralistic about paedophilia, which seems correct given the vigilante actions we've seen in recent years.

If we take the example of social treatment of 14 year old boys versus girls plus teacher, its not emotional maturity that's the difference I don't think - most 14 years olds of both sexes are unlikely to make "informed consent," in my opinion - nor even the level of emotional involvement. Its just that girls on average seem to get upset about sex more. Think American Pie: "I was used! Woohoo!"

Looking back at USA, I would suggest the oral sex thing is down to an emphasis on virginity.

>>You cant judge maturity easily. Nor can you judge normalness unless you are Moose

Jeez, OK maybe normality was the wrong word to use - in the grander scheme of thing's who's normal anyway. I stand by my argument that emotional development does not occurr at the same rate as physical development and that it is the latter rather than the former which drives adolescent sexual encounters. This isn't a personal attack on anyone, it's a hypothesis.

>>You cant judge maturity easily. Nor can you judge normalness unless you are >a< Moose

This is true. Meece are particularly good at this. It's a special gland in the antlers dontyaknow.

Lack of emotional maturity could quite easily delay or speed sexual activity depending on the information given to the individual.

Depending on how much information the individual has. There is certainlly a lot more information available to teens now. Sure, the old man's Playboy's were laying usually in a drawer somewhere, but today. Our kids today have immediate access to a plethora of information at the touch of a button. The things that my friends and I speculated about, kids now days seem to know inside and out.