h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

They're not usually as eloquent as that, I was just really annoyed by this guy and I had a lot of time to think it up.
There is another one where this woman who'd obviously married into money but was still common as muck annoyed me and she was destined to get drunk and start blabbing about how she'd been sleeping around because she didn't marry her husband for looks or performance in the bedroom. After years of putting up with her, the husband, who is essentially a nice bloke, just a bit shallow and Tim-nice-but-dim-ish, dumps her, sends the divorce papers through. She has to go back to the council estate in shame, back to her ma and dad's. The only thing she has going for her is her looks.
Unfortuantely her perfect hair, teeth and poise make her a target and she is mugged and her front teeth get knocked wonky, making her look like she couldn't spell 'dentist' let alone visit one. Also, since she can't afford salon treatment anymore she makes a mistake with her hair and it all falls out and never grows back as luscious or beautiful as it was, not even close. She has to settle for a scallie who insists on calling their kids Dannii, Jordan, Chrissie and other gender-ambiguous names.
In the meantime her ex-husband finds a new lease of life and starts going to the gym, meets a few *really* friendly blokes there who help him work out and develop a figure to die for. One bloke, Greg, summons up the courage to ask the now-free ex-husband out and after a bit of initial confusion, he accepts. Some time passes until one day when the former wife is out on a hen night on Canal Street with 20 of her fellow scallie girls. In one of the clubs she spots her ex-hubby, now all good looking and tanned and goes up trying to speak to him. Unfortuately with broken teeth and 5 bottles of Archers inside of her she is less than coherent. Greg then walks up, sees what is going on and pulls her away shouting "get away from my lover you cheap drag queen!" and proceeds to snog the ex-hubby passionately

exellent others?

i might start thinking up back storys for the a**holes i talk to on the phones

It's so much fun doing it so I would, you can get really involved and make them all intricate

hmmm let me think, im gonna havta make a seperate thread for this now it seems very therapeutic what shall i name it

dr iagos backstory therapy thread has a ring to it

I like it