h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

From Spearcarrier: 'I have noticed that certain west of Ireland people say "thinkful" for "thoughtful" '

Just back from the South-West of Ireland, and have noticed that people in shops etc, use 'Now...' as a sort of all-purpose word to mean a variety of shop-related things. I had it said to me to mean (at least I suppose), 'Yes, sir?', 'Can I help you?' and 'Here you are' (on being given my puchase). It took me a while to catch on, so that I was standing there after a shop assistant had said 'Now' and I didn't realise that she was waiting to serve me.

'Whilst' is often used instead of 'while' or 'at the same time as'in older texts.

On Jelly being strained Jam, weird, why not just call it jam if that is what it is? Marmalade with shreds and without is still called marmalade.
On Floors, back in Glasgow my old flat, being ground floor right was labelled on the door entry system as 0/1 for ground floor, first doo you meet. So 0 and G are interchangeable.
On Mayor Wanda, eh? My monday morning brain really can't follow this.

There are quite a few minor differences to catch you out (some of which are in my "Dublin English" guide entry) but one of the most difficult is when someone refers to you in the third person..for example you could be waiting at the bar and the bar man will ask you "What can I get for himself?"..you'll be doing well if you don't look behind you the first time you hear this .

My brother-in-law's boss, who is from somewhere in the Birmingham area, usually refers to other people (and himself) by name, rather than saying 'you' or 'me'.
For example, assuming the boss is called Peter, and he's in the room with Paul and other people, he might look at Paul and say 'Could Paul go and get some coffees, and a tea for Peter.
I'm told that at times it can seem like there really should be twice as many people in the room as there actually are.

I somethimes refer to myself in the 3rd person, particularly when I want something, e.g. "I think Kaeori urgently requires a cappuccino."

I can understand that, particularly if you're thinking about *part* of yourself, as in your consciousness thinking that your body needs a caffeine hit.

You just made me think of something else that I find a little odd, which is parents (generally mothers) referring to themselves as 'mummy' or 'daddy' even when their children are more than capable of understanding them if they used the word 'I' - anywhere from age 3 or 4 upwards, I would have thought.
Sometimes they way they speak, it almost seems like they've lost any kind of individuality, and sound like being a parent is the only thing that defines their existence as a human being.
Sometimes it just sounds downright disturbing.

We used to have a friend from the far South-West of Ireland. Invariably, when his relatives answered his telephone calls (he borrowed our phone!) his first greeting was "Hello, is that yourself I'm talking to?"

'G'

We are told to refer to ourselves as "mummy" so the kids learn that's who we are. My son is going to be 6 years old in 3 months, and I have only just started using "I" naturally when I talk to him. It is just a habit that was hard to break.

I came across agreat one the other year -
Try asking an american if you can bum a fag
and stand well back


And while we're on the subject of 'whilst', we were taught at school that they mean the same thing, but you use whilst if the next word starts with a vowel (whilst in England) and while if the next word starts with a consonant (while the dog...)

It made sense at the time.

Inventive teacher you had there. Bollocks, I reckon, without any dogs. Did you do the same with among and amongst and what did s/he say was the difference between betwixt and between?

Dare I suggest that some of these words and rules are there because some people are a bit pompous - present company excepted, of course.

Pompous, moi? Pedantic I'll accept. Likewise nitpicking,fussy, pernickerty (even nerd, if that can apply to obsessive interest in things other than computers)

I can see it gets to be a habit with young children, or when someone still has other small children, (especially if someone other than the mother spends a lot of time looking after a child as their knowledge of who's who is developing), but it's when children get to be 8, 10, or even teenagers, and mothers *still* pointedly refer to themselves as 'mummy' that it gets unsettling.

I think "Nerd" has only recently become synonymous with obsessive computer people - in "The Manticore" (c.1930s?) it is used to mean circus freaks and I think it was a childrens taunt in the US before it was picked up as a computer or sci-fi thing.

Even more weird are ADULTS who still refer to their parents as 'Mummy and Daddy'

I can't tell you how weird it sounds to hear some Brits saying "One doesn't like...", "One tries one's best...".

One can't find anything wrong with referring to one as one.

Indeed, one said exactly that on a thread not too far from here

Which doesn't stop the pair of you being hopelessly old-fashioned.