h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

That's alright I think we're alone and I promise not to tell....

I tend to get a little too passionate about my football at times, rather hot under the collar. Especially when some cheating midget knocks us out of the World Cup!

You'll be pleased to hear that my hubby who saw Maradonna on t.v. a couple of days ago, said he looked really fat and unwell... I expect he'll be with you very soon if he carries on abusing his body....

Absolutely - he was hospitalised last week with a very dodgy ticker after hoovering up huge mountains of charlie (as per usual). The dwarven genius is now roughly the same shape as a football, with his rather impressively swollen gut lending him a certain spherical charm. And dying his hair bright yellow was a particularly daring move for someone who keeps trying to shoot photographers. Maybe, just maybe, if he wasn't so determined to stand out from the crowd and make such a spectacle of himself he wouldn't attract so much attention......

See, who has to wait for some deity to inflict terrible revenge when the stupid sod can do it to himself....

yes, it seems mankind in general is inficting more trouble and plagues upon itself. the job of God is now a relatively easy one. i'd be happy to fill in on weekends. that's when i'm at my drunkest and most God-like, anyway. i'll do it for nothing, and everything. i've been living in heaven all my life, and i know all the important rules, since i've broken every one of them. is there any of those purple mushrooms left?@

Sounds like a healthy compromise to me. I'll need the odd evening off as well - interested?

Righto - that appears to be settled then.

*Gwennie produces a rather large roll of toilet paper...*

Here's a contract of employment I've just knocked out, if you'd both like to sign it please...

Don't bother reading the small print

*signs on the dotted line* that's great. i think i'll go check out the party on Zitlurub VI. you coming?@

Yes, Zeb, let us sign. Then, from now on, GOD can be everything, from A to Z. @

Wait for me chaps .......

*scribbles furiously*

Party? It won't clash with the stag night I hope.

Which stag night would that be, then? Or should I say whose?

EV's - don't ask me where it is though, it seems to have spread over several fora. Go to my homepage and check out the conversation called E Vibensteins Pre-Marital Piss-Up. That should be a good starting point.

no strippers at the stag,eh. *winks* hi Zeb. how do you like being God? pretty cool, eh? @

what?

Sorry - very long weekend. I'll start today.

It was either DNA or Prachett who wrote that Pascal woke up in the after life surrounded by a mob of Gods holding big sticks who told him: Let us show you what we think of smart arses up here

sounds like pratchett

yes olli, i am stalking you.

Definitely Pratchett, possibly Interesting Times, I've been flicking through at random for days trying to find it