h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

STRANGELY STRANGE (The snorkelling magpie)
I know the things in my mind, but when I really contact with them,I just can't behave or think as normal. I'm afraid to hurt them even by accident.I'm not sure whether every of them is vulnerable.

How do you deal with it?

See the person, not the disability.

hxq,
well certainly physically disabled people have physical problems, but for the most part they won't be hurt if you bump into them accidentally, if they are in a wheelchair and you bump into them it maybe you who is hurt!

hi,STRANGELY STRANGE (The snorkelling magpie)
Aha,you are right.For me,I'm too care about their thoughts and concerned about whether they may be hurt. As Xiaowen said(referred to my passage),it is the time for me to accept them as themselve.
So.let's be brave and help porperly next time.
By the way, are you brave enough to offer help to a strange?
I need more bravement.

Courage! It does take a certain amount of bravado to walk up to a stranger and ask if they want help, But i think you should, sometimes it is worth it - they needed the help, and the other times, the people who are rude, they are simply ignorant, and haven't got (or perhaps don't understand) the helpful attitude which is a part of you.

(or am i alone in all of this?)

Yes, but how would you know which? I'd say watch them for a short while just to see if they really are struggling. Then you can offer assistance.

What does 'adopt a brick' mean?

az

I was looking through a list of e-mail distribution lists at work. Most of them related to medical stuff and things, but one that got my attention was just called Adopt a brick. And I thought I would use that as my tag just for the sheer meaninglessness of it.

Not him.
Thank you for replying
I know what you mean. when I stay alone,I courage myself in this way.However, things all change when I really face them.
So let's be positive and brave.
I will try my best next time.Cos' helping and helped are both heart warming.

Xanatic, adopt a brick!
I agree with you.Cos' I think helping is not just about giving.The action should be considerable and stand on one's self-esteem.
your name...Er...may I ask why not just use 'Xanatic' while 'adopt a brick!' is meaningless?

As I Disabled person, I hate it when people refer to us a homogenous lumpen mass without any individuality, using dehumanising labels like "the disabled". We're Disabled people - and it isn't all about our impairments, either. It's about Discrimination BECAUSE we live with certian impairments.

When I was 18 I went to see an employment councellor who happened to be blind. Apparently he lost his sight after he was about five years old. After a few sessions with him - he never did find me a job - we got to be friends. So sometimes we'd meet up for a coffee or a meal or I'd pop over to his place and check out his garden (he had a fabulous flower garden).

I have to say he had a bit of a chip on his shoulder about being blind, or probably more accurate to say, about how people treated him because he was blind.

And one day he said to me - 'you know, the thing I love most about you is that you don't treat me like I'm blind'. And that kind of floored me because, having never met a blind person before, I guess it never occurred to me to treat him in any 'special way'.

He also liked how I walked with him in the street - although he had a lovely dog called Iggy, when we were all out walking together he liked having his arm in mine and I'd just say 'curb! gotta step down now' or 'here's some steps, let's go'. Whatever.

I guess it mostly made me feel a bit sad that he didn't know more people who treated him as just 'normal'. I mean, other than not being able to go out to the cinema together, we could go out shopping or for a meal or whatever, like all 'normal' friends do together.

In an attempt at being generous, I can only imagine that people who are uncomfortable with *disabled* people are not seeing what they can actually do, and are only focussing on what they can't do. Or perhaps they are afraid of the imagined 'extra responsibility' that comes with having a disabled friend? Or maybe they are just selfish @ssholes?

But I think there is a definite *fear element* happening with some people who are 'whole and healthy' which makes it difficult or impossible for them to be with people who have disabilities.

I don't get that at all and am tempted to think these are the type of people I wouldn't even want to wipe my dirty shoes on, but I guess it takes all kinds.


az

I think people just get frightened by not knowing how to deal with them. If they should pretend it isn't there, or offer the person help and such things.

I guess so, Xanatic, but hell, they're just folks like us with perhaps a bit or two missing. Problem?

No, disagree that you should pretend it isn't there - that would be not only insulting but also quite stupid.

Offering to help is quite a nice thing to do as long as you are helping in the way the person really needs, not in a way you think they might like things.

What's wrong with just asking? What do you need? How can I be of help? Well, whilst doing normal stuff with them like you'd do with anyone else.

Presumably you are wanting to do stuff with this person because you like them and value them as a friend. So why treat them any differently than other friends? Other than to understand and accept that certain limitations might make certain activities either difficult or impossible.

What's the fear thing all about?

az

More a feeling of uncomfort rather than fear I think. We are not just talking deaf or blind people, but also for example people with tics that might be rather dramatic.

Again, Xanatic, I guess it comes down to why you or I are spending our time with people who have disabilities. Are they our friends? Or are they people we think we should be helping somehow for some other reason?


az

az,
well my sister's son has learning disabilities and even I wasn't sure how to act in beginning.
It isn't so much people with physical disabilities that make people a little unsure to of how to behave, although it is difficult to know how to help someone on crutches or in a wheelchair if you have never done so before. But I think mainly people are unsure how to act with someone with learning difficulties. Some people with learning difficulties may act in ways that seem random if you don't know them....it would be easy to dismiss peoples uncertainty of what to do, but that is the way it is, and as more and more people with learning difficulties become involved in the community that uncertainty will lesson.
.
I agree to speak of people with "disabilities" is a bit isolating, however the idea of this was to help someone who actually wanted to do some vouluntary work in China so to not use the word would be impractial,

Sorry Chris, we weren't trying to upset anyone, just the opposite.
I read your PS and it seems you are ideally placed to help her with her endeavors in China, with the work you are doing now!

Thank you all for your replying, I have learnt a lot
azahar and Xanatic,do as says, we need to update our notions about other people, learn to care about other parts of society. We shall give hands if necessary.
Chris, I should say sorry to you. I didn't mean that way. It is you that remind me how rough that word would be.Thank you again sincerely.
STRANGELY STRANGE,most thanks for your support.

I wrote this passage on "LEARNING ENGLISH"board in the beginning,but I found there was nobody cared about this.Then I found here, I tried one more time. To my surprise, I got many relies beyond my knowledge. I realise again how silly I am. Theremore, my english also limits my comprehensions on your words. If there was time that I didn't catch you and misunderstand you, I'm sorry. Though I'm small,I won't give up exploring the world, whatever inside or outside.I'll try my best to improve.

Anything you don't/didn't understand, ask us about. This is "Ask" h2g2

hxq, I do not know any English person who speaks your language, so you are very brave to come on here and talk to people. I am happy that you are going to carry on talking to people around the world.
.
Perhaps a better way to describe disabled people is to say "People with a disablity". This says that they are ordinary people who happen to have a disability.