h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

*trunk/pannier bags.

I opened the boot to my car this morning to get my steel toe-cap boots out and found quite a selection of items including:

A set of golf clubs
A pat of butter (I went shopping over a week ago I should throw that away).
3 pairs of shoes: trainers, golf shoes, work shoes.
A tool kit
Recovery discs for my laptop
A UK to euro and euro to Swiss plug adaptor
Screen wash
Enginer oil
A
A kids goody bag from Wimpy
A P G Wodehouse collection will I still haven't read.
A 2 litre bottle of tap water

Having had a look in mine this morning for something I couldn't find, I've got a lot in there! Some stuff I don't remember putting in!

As far as I can tell,I have:

2 boxes of 15 noticeboards each
1 box of assorted pieces of paper to go in those noticeboards
A half full box of A4 ring binders
1 beach umbrella
1 pair of emergency flip flops (not my nice ones)
About 15 paperback novels (I spend a lot of time waiting for other people and always need a mobile library)
A six pack of 1.5lt bottles of mineral water.
A chair leg (a piece of evidence in a H&S claim!!)

And various other pieces of crud and rubbish that I have cleared out of the front of my car whenever I know that someone else is going to get into it!!

Hmmm, well all neatly organised in chequer-plated strong boxes:

Static recovery rope
Kinetic recovery rope
5m tree strop
10m tree strop
3 snatch blocks
Assorted shackles
Radio winch control
Manual winch control
Spare 30m wire cable
Ground anchor
Ground stakes
Flail sail
Gloves
Torch

And a damn great sub!!! (That's woofer, not marine)

>Assorted shackles<

Kinky.

Spare tyre
Footpump
Tool box
A wing mirror
Very battered, oil-stained Haynes Manual
Set of brake pads
The heater air supply hose (Who needs a heater in a convertible anyway!)
Fuel can (always useful to carry when your fuel gauge doesn't actually work)
A very large hammer (general purpose tool N°1)
Various oily rags

I hope you've got a spare wheel as well, because it's a bugger having to lump the tyre iron around.

B

I'd answer that one but the profanity filter keeps kicking in and stopping me

In my boot, I have:

Under the carpet, in the perfectly formed well in the metal boot floor, there is a spacesaver spare and a jack, and a small tyre iron.

On top of that, there is my 6CD changer, which is fixed in place by means of an awful lot of industrial strength velcro, and a high-vis vest. And a cuddly toy that I don't know what else to do with.

And that's it.

To be honest, as my boot is barely large enough to take more than 5 carrier bags of shopping, that's all I want to carry around with me on a daily basis.

OK...having been to investigate:

Spare wheel, jack and wheel-nut spanner.
Copper tube to act as leverage extension to wheel-nut spanner.
Set of golf clubs
Golf trolley
Two jackets
One jumper
One tie
One bale of shredded paper (for guinea pigs)
An empty lucozade bottle
One pair of sunglasses
Two empty carrier bags
A copy of Winnie-the-pooh
Three unlabelled cassette tapes
My bridge convention card
Assorted paperwork from past meetings that I couldn't be nethered to file.

B

I have, in the boot of my car;

1 foot pump.




p.s. the perv/smut level seems to be rising again. A post which included the phrase '3 snatch blocks' was responded to with a snigger about having shackles. I mean, come on, surely the word 'snatch' beats the word 'shackle' on the Perv Scale?

Having inspected the back of the said vehicle allegedly containing snatch blocks and shackles, (tis the only place to put shopping, my car boot's got far too much carp in it!!) I can confirm that nothing smutty nor kinky nor pervy would EVER be allowed to besmirch the cleanliness and purity of the said chequer-plated strong boxes.

It's not natural for a Land Rover to be that clean inside....

"my car boot's got far too much carp in it!!"

I should go fishing less often then.

B

Or, at least, less successfully!

I'm a woman. Fishing is one of my gender's specialities. Unfortunately, cleaning out our boots is not another of those specialities!

Three 70l bags of multi purpose compost
A pair of black wellies
A part-full litre bottle of lemon squash

Three boxes of tissues - and some plastic bags.

Sounds worse than it is, really.

my foot

Spare wheel, tyre iron, various golf irons, tees, balls, elvis golden hits cassette (am I glad I found that) lots of Tesco carrier bags, spare car indicator bulbs, some of which don't work, anti-freeze (radiator leaks) a free sample of an Esensual, flavoured, coloured, condom, a faulty spud gun, a bottle of Tesco peach flavoured, slightly sparkling water and a packet of Tesco's cheese and ham Kiev's (interior boot light doesn't work), empty tin of Grolsch with b.b. pellet holes, very small screwdriver, office stapler.

A rucksack full of GoForIts
A tool trolley containing:
pens
pencils
needles
thread
scissors
glue
pack of cards
reflective jacket
blindfolds
counters
tea lights
matches
cocktail sticks
string
skipping ropes
a first aid kit
a teddy bear
song books
newspaper
scrap paper

Can you tell I run a Guide unit? I can entertain 30 kids for 2 hours with that lot.

I think there's a spare wheel in there somewhere too.

Mol

You know, I'm not sure what it says about me that I've just spent the last five minutes of my life reading what 19 people have in their car boot!

Also, not sure what it says that I even clicked onto this conversation.

Even worse, I'm about to add my own submission:

Space saver tyre, with original fit tool kit built in,
Canvas bag with tool kit and emergency "stuff" from Argos,
VHS video sized box containing remains of first aid kit - most of which now lost due to rather crap box,
Several strands of hay,
Some pebbles,
A set of used spark plugs and leads ("they may come in useful"),
An aerial from a Mk2 Ford Mondeo (perfect condition, any offers?),
Two small blankets,
A pair of pocket binoculars,
and a bottle of water, just on case.