h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

You might not think the same way if you lived here TC

Mrs Gosho and I did some last minute shopping at a mall in San Antonio on Christmas Eve. We could not walk into a shop without being greeted by a plastic smile asking us how we were. We could not spend more than two minutes without being asked by another plastic smile if we were finding everything ok or if we were looking for something in particular - sometimes by the same plastic smile who had asked us earlier. We could not check out without being asked if we'd found everything ok.

I'm now considering looking for a bank loan to produce a T shirt which I'm going to punt on the internet (there's not much chance of this one being sold in shops - you'll understand why when you read it). It's going to say:

1. Hello, yes I'm fine thank you.
2. No, I'm just browsing.
3. Yes, I'm finding everything.
4. If I need any help I'm perfectly capable of asking for it, so LEAVE ME THE @*#% ALONE!!!

This experience got me to womdering why retail companies employ so many people? Half of them seemd to be there to do nothing other than pester the customers, and if they bumped a few of them off the payroll they could probably drop their prices by a fair few percent The store where I work is operating on less than a skeleton staff but could probably afford to employ one or two more, and definitely needs to employ one or two more if the existing staff are to keep their sanity.

Getting staffing levels right is *very* tricky. In fact it is a black art requiring crystal balls, luck and chanceIt requires the manager to guesstimate how busy the store will be on a day(in my case) a month in advance... It involves me saying things to myself like "well Mondays are usually busy, Saturdays have been dead recently" "it is most people's pay day arond this time of the month"" there's a game on that day- the streets will be dead" etc, etc, then of course there's unpredictable things like the weather, or a royal dying, that puts people off shopping..

When you see a store full of staff with no customers, you really have no idea, that just five minutes previously every one of them was busy with a customer, and in fact at least one left because they couldn't get served (it is a very well known fact that customers 'swarm' ie shop empty for an hour, then 25 people all come in at once and groan about how few staff we have on.. however when Gosho entered just five minutes previously, he was greatly outnumbered by bored salespeople

So all is not always as it seems!

As for being pestered, well we try and strike the right balance. We will always ask once, after someone has entered the shop, if they require assistance(about 60-70% usually do), but if they say no, or they are just looking, we leave them alone.. unless they leave without looking in a certain area, whereby i will usually point out that there is another section to the shop, or did you not see what you were looking for?.. or something like that.. It all depends on the customer really. I wont engage someone in conversation, if they look *really* grumpy, and we all usually allow folk to settle in the shop for a few minutes before pouncing

Sometimes, however, someone comes back from a break, or something, and re-pesters an already pestered customer, not knowing that they had already been bothered! That can annoy the customer sometimes, but hey

All good points Winnoch... and all totally ignored by the shops I visited on Christmas Eve... indeed, on any day.

If I can't find something I'll ask for it. What's so hard about that for shops to understand? If I'm walking through the shop with a determined stride, that should convey to any experienced sales assistant the impression that I know what I'm looking for and where it is. If I'm at the one part of the store furthest from the door, and if the store has a policy of asking customers if they're 'finding everything ok', the chances are that I've already been asked that question, probably more than once, so no need to ask me again, right?

I've been in retail long enough (and I've been a customer all my life!) to know that constantly pestering customers p!sses many of them off, and over time robs them of their ability to do anything for them selves. If you want proof of that, just work in any American store for six months.

I realise that it's a pain to be pestered by over-enthusiastic salesmen, but I would have been happy to have seen one at all that day.

When I was a schoolgirl I did a Saturday job in a department store, like most people, but I can't remember any incidents worth mentioning here about the way customers behave, except one day on the first day of the sales I heard two women (customers) bitching each other. I remember one proundly claiming "I can bl**dy swear better than you". But they didn't come into my department. Heaven knows what it was they were fighting about.

That prevalent British attitude of 'not wanting to make a fuss'comes into play here. It is truly amazing how many people will simply take a quick look around, not immediately find what they are looking for, and then leave. I would say that if we didn't intervene and ask if a customer required assistance, then we would lose most of our sales!

Almost as soon as we ask, many customers suddenly open up with what they want.. but it seems that unless prompted, they are too scared to actually ask for help!

Of course i also agree that over-pestering people is counter-productive, but it is hard to get the right balance. If we didn't greet people, then a large proportion of our potential customers would simply bounce from store, until someone eventually did ask them what they were looking for

Yes indeedy, it is already too late- few consumers, it seems, think for themselves over here- they need prompting (preferably with a cattle prod)

I've always found the "indirect inquiry" works best. There are two parts: the salesperson and the customer.

The salesperson:
Greets the customer but DOES NOT ask anything. Disney stores use this. They ahve a "greeter" at the door who only says hello and goodbye to people. It's a great touch as the customer thinks that the store values them and their business. Stores like this often find that most customers who want something will ask the greeter, who can direct them, take them or get them an assistant. Of course this will not work everywhere.

The customer:
Greets the salesperson when they pass them (this can be just a nod and smile), but DOES NOT ask anything if they don't want to be bothered. The salesperson will (or should) then realise the person does not need help.
If the custoemr does need help, they must get the attention of the salesperson. Anyone who has seen "Wayne's World" will know that the "May I Help You?" routine works. Play with something or lean over the counter to reach for something and most salespeople will say "May I help you?" and then you can way lay them.

I've used this as both a customer and as a shop assistant and I can tell you, it works.

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I have had customers walk right by me, ignoring my cheery "Hello!", studiously ignore me standing at the customer service centre, and then go downstairs to complain either that "The girl upstairs wouldn't help me." or "I couldn't find any one to help me."

Head office used to insist that staffing be based on the dollar-sales. If the store made more than anticipated, more people would be hired. If the store made less than anticipated, people would either get less shifts or be laid off. Problem with this is that, suppose we had a week of rain and people wanted to be indoors and sales were up, the quotas would rise. The next week, we had unseasonably warm weather and there were a number of public event, people stayed away in droves, sales would drop and we didn't make quota. Then they would cut the shifts to the bone.

Then, when people did come to shop, there was no one to help them and sales would drop and shifts would be cut even further.

You simply can't look at day-to-day sales to set quotas or expectations of sales. In the past, it tooks weeks or even months to get an idea of the direction of sales. Store owners would know that during certain months sales would rise and others, sales would fall. The would get more staff for what they knew what the busy times were and cut shifts during traditional off-seasons.

Now, a manager can make a tally from hour to hour or minute to minute. That information goers to head office which, in most chains, is in a distant city. Not only do most of the people at the head office not know what goes on in the localities where the shop is, but if the chain sells a specialty item such as book, most of the people at the head office don't have a background in books. They may have MBA's, but you can't sell books the way you sell clothing or shoes.

At Chapters, head office figured that a book is a book... any book on HTML would do, as long as it was about HTML. Of course, if people are looking for the "Visual QuickStart Guide" for HTML, you can't substitute some crappy book that you got a "deal on" from a different publisher.

As a result, they would get 600 copies of the really crappy book on HTML and not stock the "Visual QuickStart Guide" and not order it when people were requesting it to be stocked. Sales would drop, they would cut staff, and, despite the fact that the same number of people were coming in to the store, just not finding what they wanted or someone to help them not find what they were looking for, sales would drop and drop.

I can remember days when I would have been the only sales person for two whole floors between 7:30 am and 9:00 am. Then, I would get written up because they had a "secret shopper" who didn't get prompt, friendly service. It didn't matter that I was running all over the store helping customers, answering the phone, reshelving hundreds of books taken off the shelves by people who chose to read and not buy, trying to do $10,000 worth of returns that no one else could do (or we would loose that money), and generally doing the work of ten people.

Oh, I was at Chapters today and while I was at the cash, the cashier answered the phone. The person asked what the store hours were for the day.

She told them, and then they asked, "What are the hours for the other stores in the area?"

"Ummm, I wouldn't know. You would have to call them."

"Do you know what Loblaws' (big grocery chain) hours are?"....

"Ummm, I don't know, I've been here all day...."

I told her when she got off the phone that she should have said "Just a minute, I will run over and check." put them on hold and just leave them hanging....

We had a good laugh over that.

Later this evening, my friend, her son, and her nephew, and I went to see "The Return of the King". My friend went back to the concession counter to get a refill on popcorn (they do that here), and handed her half-empty bag to the girl at the counter. "Do you want a refill?" the girl asked...

My friend was tempted to say "No, I just came all the way over here because I wanted you to see how much I had eaten..."

Instead, she said "Yes." However "Do you want a refill?" has become our little code for "Now, that was a stupid question...."

This all reminded me of a phone exchange I once had with a customer....

"Hi, What are your hours?"

"We are open from 7:30 am to 11:00 pm, 7 days a week."

"What are your hours on Tuesday?"

"We are open from 7:30 am to 11:00 pm, 7 days a week." I said but was thinkling "What? Are you f*&$ing deaf?"

"I told her when she got off the phone that she should have said "Just a minute, I will run over and check." put them on hold and just leave them hanging...."

I'll have to remember that one the next time I tell someone on the phone that we don't have the CD they want and they then ask me 'Do you think will have it?'

If not that question, they often ask 'Do you know where else I could get it?' My stock answer in either case is (said in an imperious and haughty British accent ) 'Well, any of the other CD stores in Austin *may* have a copy, but since I'm not intimate with their inventory I'm unable to tell you'.

I have to pull you up on the popcorn question though. In all the cinemas I've been in, the place where you get the popcorn is also the place where you get the sweets and the soda, so she could have been wanting any of those things, particularly if the popcorn container was still half full. We often get people walk up to the checkout with a couple of CDs and simply put them down on the counter. They will often watch me take off the security case and ring the discs up before telling me that they don't want to buy them they want to listen to them. And after having listened to them, they will go back to the register and put them dpwn without giving me an inkling of whether they want to buy them or not. 'Do I look like a ing mind reader?' is what I want to say, but of course I can't do that, so I give them a quizzical look, and if they're still not forthcoming with a decision, I pointedly ask if they want the CDs or not.

Sometimes when you're behind the counter you have to ask

I will admit that, as a customer, sometimes I will ignore an assistant.

a. because I know exactly what I want and who I want to ask and it's not them.
b. because I have no idea why I came into the shop and I would feel a fool trying to remember out loud to someone.
c. because I don't feel like talking to someone at the moment.
d. because I didn't hear them, I was so engrossed in what I was doing
e. because I couldn't conceive of the idea that anyone would want to talk to me
f. because I'm shy
g. because they have ignored me. (possibly on previous occasions)
h. because I don't want anyone but my friend who I came in with is actually the customer.
i. because I'm just feeling bloody-minded.

So on behalf of customers: sorry to any sales person who feels they have been snubbed. It might even be just PMT or absent-mindedness.

And if a salesperson really ignores me, I suppose that some of the time, it is my own fault.

Or to put it another way, as has been said above (was it by Winnoch?) - it is so difficult to find the right balance between willingness to help, willingness to be helped, and how to approach each other.

When I was little, it was not usual in the UK to greet people in shops or say goodbye to them, unless you knew them personally. It was quite an eye-opener when I first went to France in the 60s and people always greeted each other - a general "Messieurs, 'dames" on entering the shop and a "Thank you and goodbye" on leaving. Elsewhere on the continent it is quite usual too.

In future I'll try and remember to use the greeting trick a bit more often - if everyone made that their new year's resolution it would probably make the world a nicer place!

I think you've hit the nail on the head TC. Years ago people used to say hello and goodbye to each other in shops because they knew each other! On the continent, I can't vouch for why they have greeters since I've never been there enough to know about the way they do things. I know that they have people to greet (bow to) shoppers at big stores in Japan.

Being the cynical ole git that I am though, I can't help feeling that here in the US it's just another gimmick to make people buy more. In fact, in many cases I *know* that it is, having been through some laughable customer service training.

Oh one of my pet hates (wrong thread?) is chatty checkout assistants or sales staff who ask you 'do how are you today, how was work?" as if they bloody know you The clones at my local Asda(recently aquired my Walmart..) have been programmed to do this now.. spot the American influence
I'm tempted to say "just f**k off and do your job"... or is that a little extreme?
Phoney friendliness

had a customer today (american), just got to the front of a pretty long queue (which hardly stopped once the whole 9 hours i was working!) and then stood there saying "uh...um....uh....i guess...uh...i think i'll have an...um....uh...a choc...a chocolate beavertail? and...uh.......what do i want...uh.... ...and a blue slushie...uh...yeah" or something to that effect...
of course i just had to stand there patiently waiting for some sort of useful information to come out of her mouth...*sigh*
(for those of you who don't know what a beavertails is: http://beavertailsinc.com/ )
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I hadn't realized that Beavertails had spread so far and wide! I still remember getting Beavertails (only available in summer) from the one litte kiosk in the Byward Market. I think they had something like 4 varieties. Garlic and Cheese, Cinnamon and Lemon, Chive, Raspberry Jam....

I may have mentioned this elsewhere. Grant Hooker, who started Beavertails began a campaign to move the prostitutes out of the Byward Market (which was the catalyst for making the Market someplace people actually wanted to go). It was ironic, because he is descended from Civil War General Hooker. General Hooker encouraged the "camp followers", most of them prostitutes who plied their trade for the troops. They became known as "Hooker's Women" or Hookers, the term by which prostitutes around the world are known.

It is ironic that a descendent of someone who was famous for encouraging prostitutes would be instrumental in starting a campaign to get rid of them.

Of course, the irony also goes further because of the slang, though not the intended, meaning of the name Beavertails....

And by the standards of the time (1861?)General Hooker was a humane and enlightened guy who realised that

i) Fighting soldiers, in the absence of "regular" female companionship, are going to want to go to prostitutes anyway and will do so regardless of moral or disciplinary sanctions;

ii) No fighting general wants to be in a situation where, for whatever reason, illness and disease depletes his command to the point where he can't field an army;

iii) It's no favour to the women if they're working in an unregulated and unsafe environment - Hooker realised a duty of care to his men necessarily extended to the "camp followers" in the army's tail. (This really was advanced thinking for the 1860's)

iv) So he reasoned that if it couldn't be eradicated, as religious moralists demanded, he should control and regulate it - Hooker extended medical services to the prostitutes servicing his soldiers, to ensure everything was as clean and pleasant as possible for all concerned.

It's interesting to note here that Hooker was able to carry this off - eighty or so years later, General Montgomery tried to institute similar pragmatic systems for the British Army in North Africa and Italy, but was forced to backtrack by outraged prudes and moral opinion. Result:- the British Eigthth Army suffered the highest rate of attrition for non-combat reasons (ie, squaddies laid low with VD and other STD's) which apparently never dropped below 20%.

IE - at any one time Britain's biggest fighting army had a fifth of its men laid off with the clap. Hooker's regulatory system - that any woman with a known STD would have lost her licence to practice - would have prevented this!

Yes, beavertales Just recently discovered them. Although they are far from widespread here in Britain(don't think you can buy pre-packaged ones in the supermarket yet- but give it time..)

I've only seen them sold(and made) at a dedicated kiosk in a game fare our company was exhibiting at.

blimey, i didn't know all that...
chive beavertails?? we don't sell those...sounds a bit weird to me
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I think it was cream cheese and chive. It was good.