h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

The nurse had to use the smallest implement to do the smeer test with. It is done here every three years. I am not sexual active and I have never been.

JA

Hiya SpankMundi
the thing is yoga has made me serene and calm so I don't care anymore!!

Back to topic, having heard some of the horrific tales of smears gone wrong, I realise the problem. I thought you all didn't like them just cause the speculum is cold - I didn't realise they could make you bleed for a day. Sorry to hear about that. However surely testing for cervical is important?

Who gets smears once a year Kelli? I'm only allowed one every five years?

Sorry to hear about your experince Jedi, unless you are happy with it. You can get treated for that problem, if you want to.

I have only ever known one person who couldn't, she really was too small, to even use a tampon. But I guess 'lucky' for her she was a lesbian so penetration didn't have to be such an issue.

It's allright now as use certain devices that mimic it. It could have been that he was rough with me and I have learnt lubricants are good. I can use tampons easily but sometimes I do need to use lubricant.

I think I might need help to overcome it but I do not think I am as bad as I used to be.


JA

Good luck with it and remember you are never too old to start! Us women just keep going , unlike men who peak at 19 (I think)!

Thanks Kaz!

JA

nah...were like fine wines get better with age...(tongue in cheek..hehe)

Usual policy is once every three years...but sexullay active women are advised to have one every year... I think...? (to whomever was asking...I'm afraid I've forgotten in the intervening period... )

Bleeding only occurs if they person taking the smear is too forceful I woul dhave thought. They are only meant to take top layer of cells. Oh well. the problem is that if you bleed afterwards I'm pretty sure the sample will be spoiled, and so they have to take it again anyway...

Ah..to answer the question, American women are supposed to have one yearly. And wish me luck - mine is today! (And now I'm *totally* confused a to what to do about birth control . I'm tempted to say 'f*ck it' and just use condoms, but that solution is a little...problematic.)

'parrantly I started to bleed as soon as she touched my cervix with the speculum - there was no pressure it just didn't want to be touched. She wasn't hopeful about the sample and it turned out it was useless - she thought it would be the same for me everytime unless I came off the pill

Doesn't that get a bit irritating at other times too then...if you are THAT sensitive??? Just being nosey... Don't answer if you don't want to PQ...

It doesn't seem to react that way to flesh - only metal

But it's a little annoying that I could go through the same thing hundreds of times and still not have a good enough sample for the damn thing to be tested.

Update: Went to the Doc..(..sorry, I've had a crush on him for ages). As to the speculum/swabby part, it was kind of funny. He stuck the thing in, which didn't bother me, and he started chatting about why the two hospitals in a nearby big city are so d*mned close together. Then he pulled the thing out. I said, 'Are you done already??' I didn't even notice what he was doing . As to birth control, we discussed my reactions to my pregnancies, my cycle and whatnot, and he offered the copper IUD and diaphragms if I was really not wanting hormones, but in the end we decided that it would be all right to take the pill and see what happens. He said to give it three months to know how it really affects me, but to feel free to stop at any time if I don't like how I feel. So..I guess I'll be trying the Dial-a-candy . Do y'all promise to babysit me if my emotions get all whacked out? Oh, also talked about my Rh Disease, and he said he'd research mortality figures for any baby I might try to have, but that's another story... He so wants me to get my tubes tied.

Don't worry, Nyssa. We'll still love you, even if you turn into a

As for regularity for the test? They recommend once every two years over here in AU, commencing from the onset of sexual activity or the age of eighteen, whichever comes first.

Don't worry Nyssa...we'll let you know but love you still

Rh disease? you Rh negative then? (ohhh...I am being nosey this week...)

I'm Rh neg too. My first baby was also Rh neg but the next two were Rh positive - I was given anti-D after each of them to ensure no Rh problems for subsequent pregnancies.
I decided three was enough! Anytime I got broody after that, I used to imagine going into the shoe-shop for the joyous experience of shodding the family!

Re contraception - I sent my husband to the vet! He had no problems - bar the hair growing back in again afterwards.

Re smear tests - I was once left sitting bare-ar*ed on a sheet of paper on the couch for 25 minutes, waiting for the doctor to come and do the glove-puppety stuff. No wee blanket, not even another sheet of paper to cover my modesty. And then they wondered why my BP was rather high!
And - did you know that up until a few years ago, those speculums were dunked in disinfectant between patients. Now they're supposed to be autoclaved between uses.

It's every 3 years in the UK....unless of course they spot something unusual.

Not so long ago I had a series of having to go every 6 months because they suspected pre-cancerous cells, until I got a clear result.

Bit of a reminder as to why they exist at all!

All this talk has finally reminded me I've got to go the FP clinic tomorrow for scrape and pills...ta!

Having reached the momentous age of 50 I now qualify for that other female examination-the mammogram.Now that IS a painful experience.Must have been invented by a male is all I can say.I did visualise trying it out on the male anatomy as I was going through the pain barrier.


Incog.

Mammograms?

Can't say I enjoy them either Incog. I'm supposed to have one every two years because of a family history - am still feeling after the last one. They always do two on each side - one horizontal and one oblique. And I'm not terribly well endowed so it's a very undignified and painful experience having the radiographer yanking on one end of my poor wee s.
I worked out what went wrong the last time - I was pre-menstrual so a bit tender anyway and the radiographer had the 'shelf' too low.

Still - it's a lot better to catch a carcinoma early. Mum's was dealt with fairly early - more than thirty years ago - and she's doing just fine in her seventies now.