h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Fortunately she had a small pistol secreted down her cleavage which she withdrew and shot, with expert precision, her husband in both knees.

Unfortunately, this happened just as a police car was passing us, on it's way back to the station from the scene of the siege.

Fortunately, her devastating beauty in that pink mini-dress had the policemen agog, and they let her off with a caution.

Unfortunately, she was so distressed at having shot her husband that she had to go home and recover.

Fortunately, as she left, a slip of paper with her address on it fall to the floor after removing itself from some unseen hiding place (not much in the way of pockets see).

Unfortunately, she took her car and so I was stranded in an unfamiliar part of town.

Fortunately an empty taxi was passing, which I was able to hail.

Unfortunately, it really was empty... with no driver, a brick had been placed on the accelerator by some unknown perpetrator and the taxi promptly crashed and exploded into a huge fireball!!

Fortunately, the light from the explosion illuminated an entrance to the subway, where I was able to catch a train.

Unfortunately, this train was heading for a crevasse in the tunnell that dropped straight to hell!!! (B****r, I've gotta go home now!!)

Fortunatly this allowed me to catch up with several old aquantices who lived in hell.

Unfortunately I got cornered by a terrific bore who went on and on and on and on and on and

Fortunately, I was resurrected by a spirit medium after a short while, who wanted to know if there was anything I wished to say to my estranged brother.

Unfortrunatly I didn't have an astranged brother, so thought this rather suspecious and suspected involvement of the secret service at some level because of this development.

Fortunately, once summoned from the Underworld, I was able to make my escape and so did not have to worry about whether my brother (mentioned about a page ago) was estranged or not.

Unfortunatelt I ran out into a pea souper and had no idea which way to go.

Fortunately, I was still a spirit, so I did not have to breathe the unpleasant smog.

Unfortunatly I saw the form of Rolf Harris with wobble bord in hand, learching randomly thorugh the fog, and making strange noises.

Fortunately, that meant that Rolf Harris was also dead.