h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

>>That's in Germany, though, where jumping in from the side, bombing, petting etc etc, are Verboten

Not much is Verboten in our pools, although yesterday a youth was told to "get out" for swearing. He didn't get out; and I started to wonder how they would try to enforce the demand. Would they jump in and chase him? Do they have a big stick to poke him out? Several minutes passed without anything happening, and then a more heavily-built attendant had a word with the offender, and he chose to leave.

PH: Damping off seeds.

Emily, did you make sure everything was clean*? I used to get damping off because I didn't try hard enough. It doesn't happen any more (crossed fingers).

*and did you use seed compost? I used to think regular compost would be OK, but I think the added nutrients gave me too much weak growth.

I was using compost from last year, but it's only the second year I've ever grown anything from seed, so I'd never even heard of damping off. So my lack of experience is probably the main reason.

Anyway, I decided to start again last weekend, so I bought a new bag of compost which was good for seeds and have washed everything (and I mean everything!). I've also been watering the seedlings with Chamomile tea, which is apparently a good anti-fungal, though making sure they're damp but not sopping.

The seedlings which have come back up are doing much better and I've learnt a good lesson

Petting, TC?! Perhaps the word has a different meaning where you are...

PH: Weekends. Boring. I have no one to go out with.

"Petting, TC?! Perhaps the word has a different meaning where you are..."

It's a polite way of saying 'consensual groping' and is quite commonly forbidden in swimming pools. When I was 11 it was like the Holy Grail of bad behaviour in public.

I've seen extended snogging sessions at put pool, but it doesn't bother anyone. At least they don't get in the way.

PH:There’s a time a place for everything, folk that choice a public place to conduct a private act are grossly insensitive to the needs of others

Why don’t they just paint their heads orange and walk around with a plague that says “LOOK AT ME”, better still they should stay in doors.

Well, stare at them then. And if they should happen to complain, you can give them a piece of your mind. Just make sure it's a piece you won't be needing later.

Mr D, TC: That's what I thought was meant! Oh, god, in public... no. Some are exhibitionists, granted, but the majority of us aren't!

>>There’s a time a place for everything, that choice a public place to conduct a private act are grossly insensitive to the needs of others.

Personally, I think that anything which doesn't impact upon my ability to traverse the pool is the height of consideration. I can ignore people snogging easily (please, why does it bother you?), but I can't ignore some idiot not looking before he dives in on top of me.

the snogging bothers me too and a lot of other people, and frankly when I was taking my little kids to the pool on a weekly basis I didn't need them to be confronted with it either.

Putting together a carefully crafted (?) journal entry
Called away to make the coffee (that's my task)
Called away for the Sunday general knowledge crossword (yea)

Returning an hour or two later, there be words to the effect "You can't post to a journal without being a member". Oh deary deary me.

Sign in, deep breath, manipulate back buttons...

Phew! Not so serious after all

Buying a packet of rice and getting it home to find out it is boil-in-the-bag rice. I never could get the hang of those silly bags.

PH: The word “Snog”, who made that up. I had the misfortune of tuning the TV on and watching some of the news items (on Valentines Day) whilst eating my dinner.
I’m sure the director asked the couplein the reported feature, to kiss as a closing shot to his news item, well the fella nearly ate the poor women, I’m sure he got a taste of the inside of her shoes, as his tongue went in that far.

Corkscrews. I've managed to uncork the bottle successfully (yay, I've uncorked my very first corked bottle of wine! It's a Sunday, I deserve it), but now the question is how does one get the cork OFF the corkscrew?

PH 2: Washing up.

Problem solved, ladies and gents! I still don't like corkscrews though, why can't I learn to open them with a knife?

I love corkscrews! There's just something about that satisfying "PLOP!"

A bit liken to having a good POO,"PLOP!" "PLOP!" "PLOP!"

PH: people quoting old wives tales as medical fact