h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

People who overuse "that's what they all say"

I say I'm going to the Derby and I'm not gonna bet.
"that's what they all say"
No no, I've seen people addicted to gambling and I don't wanna get like that.
"that's what they all say"
I don't bloody bet!
"that's what they all say"
Oh bugger off.

people who overuse the word 'brilliant'.

The claim that everyone else does it when urged to do something not kosher.Hardly a sufficient defence in a court of law.

Incog.

Tutting. What's the point? Such an ineffective way of making a point.

If you tut a lot, you end up sounding like Skippy the bush Kangaroo.

Not a petty hate, just an observation.

I hate when all your mates pretend a party is fancy dress, and you turn up dressed as a monk, or santa claus, or ginger spice, and it turns out it was just a normal party.

<>

Must agree. A punch in the face (just one clean shot!) is usually much more effective.

az

another petty hate - people who punch you in the face when the could have just tutted.

When you're in a situation where you need to say something as follows:

'Jim's sister's friend's cousin's workmate crashed his car into Roger Moore's car!'

and to prevent such a convoluted route to the payoff you say:

'A bloke I know crashed his car into Roger Moore's car'

And someone says:

'you dont know him'

or

'what bloke was that then?'

The word "moist"... I mean, uuurrgh! *shudders in revulsion*

Having to eat moist slugs for breakfast every day, I hate that.

Having a headache on my day off.I've so much to do and I feel like cr*p!
I know I wouldn't want a headache at work but why does it always have to be a day off.

Incog feeling fuzzy and foozled and in pain.

Dishonesty in business. It seems to be assumed that it's acceptable to be dishonest to the public in order to make a sale. I signed up for Friends Reunited and they said they needed five pounds to 'maintin the site' but now I find out that the people running it have made a fortune. It's not just there, it's bloomin pandemic.

Tiny bugs. They're everywhere at this time of the year. Once I've had one on me I spend the rest of the day feeling itchy and scratching.

People who say - 'oh, I've never had a headache in my entire life!'

az

ps
(actually this *is* me, I've never had a headache in my entire life, but I appreciate how annoying this must be for other people to hear - like me having to hear someone say 'no matter how much I eat I just *can't* put on weight!' ).

Yes. As a migraine suffer I get fed up with stupid suggestions from well meaning people. Some folk seem to assume that I get migraine because I am doing something wrong, and they avoid them because they're doing something right.

Oh, I just feel stupidly lucky that I've never had a headache - have never tried to offer advice, nor do I think people get headaches and migraines 'on purpose'. It's just that different bodies react differently to stress, I think. Hence, my stomach and my back are pretty much f*cked! Have never had a headache, though!

az

My petty hate?

"Chuggers" or "Charity Muggers." They all appear to be out-of-work actors/actresses, wear luminous tabards, and bound towards you in shopping centres as if they have just identified you as some long-lost friend with their cheery "Hi? Can you spare five minutes for Animal Welfare?" or something similar.

Solution:

1. Say "Sorry, I don't speak English"
2. Say "Yes, I have got five minutes to spare, but you're not getting it"
3. Allow yourself to be persuaded to fill in a standing order form to give a fiver a week to a charity you've barely heard of.

Sorry, but in our town centre they are endemic. They and the consumer survey clipboard wielders.

Yes, experienced that. I had one who sounded like a good charity. I said "that sounds interesting, have you got a website I can check out?".
Answer: "Would you like to give some money every month?"

"Well tell me your website so I can find out some more"

"We haven't got a website. I was really hoping you'd agree to give some money every month".

proper answer to these people is 'no, I'm a cat', which actually works much better when you can say it in Russian . . . used to have the translation for that here, will have to look it up.

anyhow, very good all-purpose answer to almost anything.

az

OK so it's really petty !

When I look at the most recent post on an interesting-sounding post and find its a at the top of a page and I have to wait while the site wades through treacle to get me back to the previous page..... if I get an error page while trying to go back it makes it doubly annoying!!!

sorry, couldn't help myself!
az