h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Probably not, no, if it's a plane... well, some people are idiots. Astronomy is the study of space etc (I should know, I do it, like a geek nerd). Astrology is to do with the star signs.

I get a little grouchy when I see bookshops with the astrology books in the section clearly labelled as astronomy.

I move them to another shelf (likewise creationism on the science shelf)

Wibble used to be my worst day at college. Double Physics, double Maths, then a free period and twilight Maths (twilight = the hour after school has ended for the non-sixth-formers.)
Wibble is now my best day. Two hours of lectures, with reasonable odds on an hour's lie-in, maths which I routinely skive off due to the uselessness of the teaching, and a completely free afternoon.
I take a proper degree. Our Wibble afternoons are a highly prized luxury.

Here's a nice specific petty hate.

Eating your breakfast in the shop, in the dark cos if you turn the lights on people try to come in, and dropping a little lump of egg mayo on the floor. Then changing into your work shoes and putting your bare foot on said item.

Don't you just hate it when that happens?

Oh yes - happens to me every day!!!

Summer colds when you could otherwise have had studio time.

When your eyes start running just after you've put mascara on!

When nothing comes in the way of writing and you know you have a week til NZ and you don't know should you take the stuff with you or not cos you might lose it… and bouncing emails between Ireland and Germany re the song thing… not easy. And trying to get vocal lessons organised before you go… I might leave it til I'm there. I don't know.

Argh!!!

My slow reflexes.

When so-called historians say things like "Medieval longswords weighed 20 pounds" or "it was nearly impossible to move in armour".

Is this in a "surely you're making this up, mate" sort of way, or in an "I couldn't care less, you " sort of way? I tend towards the second way...

I tend towards the first as both statements are provably false.

I see. Lying historians- that's just nasty!

I did enough re-enctment training to know a sword might weigh ten or twelve pounds, but when it's swinging it generates a momentum of its own and the trick is stopping it!

As for the armour, a chain-mail suit might weigh thirty pounds and feel like a great big inert lump when you test the weight of it in your arms, but when it's on, the weight of the thing is evenly distributed around your upper body and you barely notice it's on after a while. Apparently plate armour has the same effect once on. after all, they had five hundred years of practice to design and refine the stuff for ease and comfort of use!

the trick is stopping it!

Well, that's what your opponent is there for, isn't it?

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Not even that... a longsword only weighs about three pounds and even a Zweihander (German greatsword) rarely exeeds six pounds.

Did you see 'Tough Gig' with the LARP guys? They seemed to have foam weapons!

That's cos they do!

Which neatly leads into some LARP related petty hates:
Usage of obviously modern costume (like the people wearing camo gear).
Taking it too seriously.
Using the phrase 'many moons' when you can legitimately say 'six months' or whatever and still be in character.
Make-up that is supposed to be 'all exposed areas of skin' but doesn't cover ears/neck/hands/eyelids...

That many moons bit struck me as more than a little cheesy too!