h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Have you thought about trading in your 'electric fly swat' (i.e. useless tat that only a moron would want) for some sort of a brain?

Anyone around?

Ho hum.

Trin?

Yes.

You're a git.

What did you call me?

A git.

Weeell - that's fancy talk for someone with a face like that.

What's wrong with my face?

What's right with it, more like. Maybe that's why there's no one around, they're just avoiding having to look at it.

Really? Is it that bad?

Too right it is. God, you make me sick.

Oh - don't say that.

Why not? It's true.

I'm just ... I'm just feeling a bit fragile tonight ...

Ha! Just waking up to your intrinsic gittishness, more like.

You're horrid. I'm leaving.

Not without me, you're not.

Ho hum.

Thank gawd the butt-faced, genetically damaged pile of Llama droppings has left. The air is breathable again.

The air might be breathable but the company is terrible

LA - I am also in NY, I did wonder what that awful smell coming from the sewers was...its you, the rats are trying to escape and dying in hundreds - you are the thing from Jersey arn't you? Do you glow in the dark too?

As for the rest of you lot, I've seen sharper KY jelly.

*completely ignores MV, she isn't worth the attention*

Just jutting in quickly. I used to get teased about KY jelly because I said "yeah that's Kathryn with a K and a Y" when people had to write it down.

Oh dear

Yes, one would expect that

*equally carefully ignores Ena*

Don't want that to burst in sudden surprise.

*ignores everybody*

*doesnt ignore everyone and pokes them all with a cardboard tube I just found*

FEAR ME!

*breaks Kat's cardboard tube*

YOU SOD!! That was a special cardboard tube!

*does vulcan nerve pinch on you*

ha!
You're so small that you have to break cardboard tubes to feel special!

HEAR ME ROAR!

*cough, splutter, sniffle* ok...not today...bot ba bold...

here have some germs, it might increase your brain power somewhat..

Your germs aren't worthy of even being registered as germs! The only reason you got a cold was because you're such a weak being that anything could trample all over you!

I AM KATH HEAR ME....miaow!

Oo scary. Oo I'm so frightened. Help. Help.

*breaks another cardboard tube*

HEAR MY MIGHTY MIAOW AND QUAKE IN FEAR

Rubbish

well it amused me!

and you can't even know the meaning of rubbish seeing as it's all you ever spout. It must seem practically genius to you!